The Cost of Impressing: Have Mishloach Manot Gone Too Far?

Prestige, style, and gourmet food have not passed over Mishloach Manot. In recent years, these Purim gift packages have become part of a growing industry. Many of us are willing to spend a lot of money to keep up with trends that signal social and financial status and, more and more, social media presence as well. After all, how many people will actually see the beautifully designed packages we prepare besides the person receiving them?

Since Mishloach Manot can be quite expensive, it may be time to rethink our approach. What is really wrong with the simple, modest packages of the past? A minimalist, values-based approach is not about being cheap. It is about intention. It removes the pressure to impress and allows us to focus on what truly matters: the person we are giving to, not what others might think of us.

Remembering Simplicity

“As a child in the 1970s, we received Mishloach Manot on a plain white disposable plate, the most basic kind, because there really weren’t other options,” recalls naturopath Sarah Bar Asher, a lecturer on nutrition and the food industry. “There would be a hamantaschen, pretzels, and wafer cookies, something salty and something sweet. You’d place a white napkin on top and that was it. No cellophane, no ribbons, and no oversized baskets that need to be filled just because they’re big.”

She adds that this kind of excess is unnecessary, especially today. “No one is lacking sugar or candy. Israel ranks first among developed countries in sugar consumption, about 170 grams per person per day. That’s not something to celebrate.”

When Abundance Misses the Point

Have we gone too far with large, overdesigned packages?

“Absolutely,” says Sarah. “Let’s be clear about the mitzvah. Mishloach Manot means one package, from one person to another, with two food items. That’s it. Everything beyond that is extra and not the core of the mitzvah. With Matanot La’evyonim, giving generously makes sense, but with Mishloach Manot we have definitely gone too far.”

She points out the irony of what often happens today. “People go to the supermarket, fill their carts with candy, and then give the package to neighbors who shop at the same store. We end up exchanging the same sweets. It’s wasteful and unnecessary. Instead, we can be more thoughtful. Use an eco-friendly paper bag. Buy a good loaf of bread with nuts or raisins, a natural drink, and a quality spread. That’s more than enough.”

Candy for Kids, Thoughtfulness for Adults

So should candy be included at all?

“For children’s Mishloach Manot, yes, candy can be included,” Sarah explains. “For adults, it’s not really needed. Mishloach Manot are meant to be food gifts, not candy bags.”

For children, she suggests choosing better options. Avoid artificial colors and choose plant-based treats when possible. Chocolate made mainly from cocoa beans is a better option, as is marzipan made from almonds and sugar. Pretzels are fine, preferably whole wheat, but they don’t have to be perfect. Halva made from sesame, shalva from puffed wheat, puffed corn, oat-based snack bars, or homemade popcorn are all good alternatives.

She also encourages parents to talk with children ahead of time. “When kids come home with Mishloach Manot, it helps to discuss which sweets are worth eating and which are better skipped. Artificial food coloring has no place in our diet. There’s no reason to eat food dyes that harm health, and this connects directly to Venishmartem lenafshoteichem, taking care of our bodies.”

Rethinking Hamantaschen

Are whole-grain hamantaschen really better?

“Honestly, store-bought hamantaschen are cookies we probably wouldn’t choose on a regular weekday,” Sarah says with a smile. “But on Purim, they suddenly feel essential.”

She reminds us that it is possible to fulfill the mitzvot of Purim without eating hamantaschen at all, or at least without relying on packaged ones. Baking at home allows full control over ingredients. Whole spelt or whole wheat flour can replace refined flour. Coconut oil can replace margarine. Instead of fruit-flavored jam, use a quality fruit spread made from one hundred percent fruit.

She also offers a creative idea. “Instead of baking many small cookies, make one large hamantaschen and place it on the Purim table. It becomes a meaningful and memorable dessert.”

A Practical and Caring Package

Sarah’s favorite approach is to think practically. “Since Mishloach Manot are usually delivered in the morning, breakfast is a great idea. We’re all busy, so it doesn’t need to be complicated. Whole-grain rolls, a jar of fruit spread with no added sugar, raw tahini, almond butter, or even hard-boiled eggs work beautifully. Add orange juice or freshly pressed apple juice.”

If the package is delivered closer to lunchtime, she suggests something that fits naturally into the Purim meal. “A pareve vegetable quiche or a whole-grain cake made with nourishing ingredients can go straight onto the table. That way you’re contributing something useful, instead of adding more candy just before Pesach and turning the house into something out of Hansel and Gretel.”

She also recommends keeping containers modest. “Too much abundance often causes more harm than good. Choose a reusable dish, or even a mug or two filled with thoughtful items, something that lasts. You don’t need to spend more money. Invest in thought, creativity, and intention.”

She shares a community idea as well. “In our neighborhood of eighty families, we hold a raffle. Each participating family gives Mishloach Manot to two families they are matched with and agrees not to give to the others. It keeps costs reasonable and makes the mitzvah feel pleasant and manageable.”

What Halacha Actually Requires

With all the focus on appearances, some basic halachic guidelines are often forgotten.

It is important to fulfill the mitzvah of Mishloach Manot in a respectful and meaningful way, according to one’s means, in order to show care and friendship. If the recipient is very wealthy, the items should also be appropriate for them. Ideally, the package should contain enough food to be considered part of a meal.

Care should be taken to send food that is clearly kosher and permitted to eat. Sending additional packages to friends is encouraged, as it increases love and connection between people.

Women are obligated in Mishloach Manot and should send to other women. A married woman does not fulfill her obligation through her husband’s package alone. Ideally, men send to men and women send to women.

Boys from age thirteen and girls from age twelve are required to send Mishloach Manot themselves. Younger children who are old enough to understand the mitzvah should be taught to participate. Even someone who is financially supported by charity is obligated.

Delivering Mishloach Manot personally fulfills the obligation. It may also be sent through a messenger or a child. However, sending a package to a minor does not fulfill the obligation and must be sent again to an adult.

According to Rabbi Ovadia Yosef, zt”l.