עברית
Halachot and Customs
Is a Kohen Allowed to Marry a Woman Who Had Relations with a Non-Jew?
Question
Hello esteemed Rabbi,
I am a 41-year-old Kohen living in the northern region.
I have great difficulty finding a single woman my age. The vast majority of women are divorced, while single women prefer to marry single men rather than divorced men.
If that were not enough, I understood that a woman who had relations with a non-Jew is forbidden to a Kohen.
I have been divorced for over four years and have not succeeded in finding a single woman.
Recently, I met an amazing woman, but after the relationship began she told me that in the distant past she dated a non-Jew and deeply regrets it.
I am at a loss.
On one hand, I love her very much and she regrets the mistake she made, on the other hand, I do not want to transgress.
I am very worried about missing the opportunity.
Thank you.
Answer
Shabbat shalom, If the woman you met had relations with a non-Jew, there is no wisdom, understanding, or counsel against the halacha (Shulchan Aruch Even HaEzer 6:8) which prohibits you, as a Kohen, from marrying her. Even though she deeply regrets and has fully repented, the prohibition remains in force. Since you live in the northern area, it is recommended that you visit and engage in heartfelt prayer at the kever of Rabbi Yehuda bar Ilai, who is known for assisting in finding a match (Yeshuos Mordechai, page 35, quoting the Gra"m Eliyahu zt"l), and may Hashem send you a wife to your heart's desire, suitable in every way and permitted to you according to halacha without any concern. Good news soon, Hillel Meirs
