עברית
Halachot and Customs
Are There Mourning Customs for Grandchildren After Shiva?
Question
Hello, I wanted to ask, please, about the laws of mourning for grandchildren. I understand that they do not apply to them. My grandmother passed away, and seven days have already passed from the date of death. My mother is, of course, in the year of mourning because of this.
1. Am I, as a granddaughter, allowed to play music? And is music generally permitted now during the Omer?
2. What is the halacha regarding birthdays? May I, the granddaughter, receive gifts? May we go out for a modest family dinner? What is actually forbidden? And may my mother take part, of course without music, etc.?
Thank you in advance, Lini.
Answer
A proper greeting,
1. From the standpoint of mourning, you are permitted to play music, though it is not appropriate in front of your mother. And regarding the Omer, the custom among Sephardim is not to play music until Lag BaOmer (Responsa Yechaveh Daat, vol. 3, end of siman 30). Among Ashkenazim, the custom is not to play music until the Three Days of Hagbalah, that is, until 3 Sivan (Sefer Bein Pesach LeShavuot, ch. 15, note 4, in the name of Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, of blessed memory, and Kovetz Mibeit Levi on the festivals of the year, p. 130, in the name of Rabbi Shmuel Wosner, of blessed memory, that one should not listen to music throughout all the days of the Omer. In any case, Sefer Netivei Gavriel, Pesach, part 3, ch. 53, sec. 3, writes that during the Three Days of Hagbalah the custom is to be lenient).
2. As a granddaughter, you presently have no mourning customs at all, and therefore you may receive gifts and go to any meal or event you want. However, it is forbidden for your mother to go out to a meal with friends until the end of the year of mourning (Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh Deah, siman 391, section 2), but a modest family dinner is permitted.
Good news, Hillel Meirs
