Intimacy in a Room with Children

Greetings,

If the children are still too young to speak, it is permitted to engage in relations in the room even if they are awake (although it is praiseworthy to avoid this, as noted by the Kaf Hachaim, Orach Chaim 256:45 in the name of the Olat Tamid and the Elia Rabbah).

However, if they can already speak, one should not engage in intimacy unless they are asleep. Even then, it is advisable to place a partition between them and the bed so that even if they wake up, they will not see anything (see Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 256:6, and Biur Halacha, s.v. Ni'ur).

Regarding what constitutes a child who can speak, the opinion of the Aruch Hashulchan, Orach Chaim (256:11) is that a child is considered able to speak only if they can recount what they saw afterwards. However, in the responsa of the Shevet HaKehati, part 4 (siman 78), it is stated that a child who knows a few words, even if they cannot form complete sentences, is already considered a speaking child in regards to this prohibition, which generally applies from around one year of age and onward.

Best regards,

Hillel Meirs