Dreams about the Deceased

Hi,

I cannot say for certain, but as I understand it, if the deceased appears to the dreamer in a dream and looks beautiful and well, it is a good sign. If your grandmother has appeared to you and your cousin in a dream multiple times within the first year and she looks good, it seems she wanted to hint to you that she is in a good place, blessed be Hashem.

The fact that Grandma wanted to give money to your cousin in the dream seemingly indicates that she is concerned for her well-being even in the afterlife and expects — and undoubtedly prays — for her welfare, which is also a good thing.

Nevertheless, your cousin wisely did not want to accept the money from Grandma in the dream, as it is taught in holy texts that one should not accept any gifts in a dream from those who have passed away.

Here, the general principle we have is that when a parent or grandparent leaves descendants in this world who perform good deeds, all of that merits reward for the parent or grandparent. Thus, it is possible that Grandma, may her memory be a blessing, wanted to hint to both you and your cousin in her appearances in dreams to continue doing good deeds in this world, and through that, you will assist her — for she will also receive benefit and satisfaction from it in the upper worlds.

Every good deed done here in this world by any of the descendants is essentially a merit for Grandma. Therefore, when you gather and perform Hafrashat Challah, it is a great merit for her, and although the memorial is also a significant merit for her, it is clear that through each mitzvah done for her, especially when performed within the first year, she receives much satisfaction and merit.

Therefore, even though the dream involved the memorial in your cousin's house, it is possible that the intention was regarding another mitzvah being done for her — and as you mentioned, a Hafrashat Challah is planned to take place at your cousin’s house just a few days later. Just because it appears in the dream like a memorial that took place at her house and not as a Hafrashat Challah, this is no contradiction: for we know that the general rule in dreams is that there is no dream without meaningless things.

The fact that Grandma came to you in the dream recently and was speaking of good news is, seeming, a good sign and shows she is happy for you.

Therefore, it is worthwhile for you to continue throughout this year to intend, both you and your cousin, whenever you perform a specific mitzvah, that the merit of the mitzvah be for the merit of Grandma, may her memory be a blessing, and through this, may Hashem help that it will be good for you as well — and for the soul of Grandma, may her memory be a blessing. May her soul be an advocate for your entire family.

Best regards,

Rabbi Nachum