How does one repent for lashon hara?

Shalom u-vrachah,

1. Repentance is through three stages: 

a. Regret for the sin. 

b. Verbal confession, as below. 

c. And acceptance for the future not to return to this sin ever again (Rambam, Hilchot Teshuvah, chapter 2, halachah 2).

Verbal confession means that one must say, "Please, Hashem, I have sinned, I have done wrong, I have transgressed before You and done such-and-such, and behold I have regretted and am ashamed of my deeds, and I will never return to this matter" (Rambam there, chapter 1, halachah 1).

2. If the person about whom you spoke lashon hara already knows, one should ask him for forgiveness and specify what he is asking forgiveness for, provided that this does not add to his pain.

However, if he does not yet know, and there is reason to assume that this knowledge will cause him pain and distress, one should not tell him the story in detail, because in doing so one is committing a transgression by causing pain to another, but rather should tell him that if he was hurt, one asks forgiveness for everything, and that is sufficient.

Sources: Rabbi Moshe Sternbuch shlit"a in his book Mo'adim u-Zemanim, part 1 (siman 54), who heard this from Rabbi Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler ztz"l in the name of Rabbi Yisrael Salanter ztz"l. This is also ruled in the book Chazon Ovadia, Yamim Noraim (page 244).

Gmar chatimah tovah,

Hillel Meirs