Is It Permissible to Marry a Woman Older Than Me?

Hello, 

In principle, it is good for the man to be older than the woman, and this is beneficial for Shalom bayit (Sugei Yisrael, p. 122b, letter 33, in the name of Sefer Tiyu Yehoshua. And see also Sefer Orchot Rabbeinu, vol. 1, p. 269, in the name of the Kahalos Yaakov zt"l, that there is concern if the woman is older than the man, because then she will rule over him). However, if he is offered a match with a woman who is older than him, and she has the other necessary qualities, the match should not be rejected for this reason (see Responsa Vayeshev HaYam, vol. 1, siman 20). Some say that if she is older than him by up to two years, there is no concern (Letters from the Beit Shmuel author, letter 65; and so brought in Nitei Gavriel, Shidduchim and Tenaiim, chapter 10, note 2, from his teacher and rebbe from Pupa zt"l in the name of the Mahara of Belz zt"l, and that he likewise received from the holy rebbe of Skver zt"l. See also Sefer Aleinu Leshabeach, vol. 4, p. 66, in the name of the Chazon Ish zt"l). Some say that up to five years there is no concern (see Responsa Chatzlat HaSharon, Even HaEzer, siman 63. See also there in Nitei Gavriel, note 3, that it is known that the rebbetzin of the Lev Simcha zt"l was older than him by five years. And see further there that he brought from Sefer Maor Chaim, vol. 5, in the name of His Eminence the Admor, author of Amrei Chaim of Vizhnitz zt"l, that up to four years there is no concern. It should also be noted that in the book Peninu Rabbeinu HaAvi Ezri, p. 257, in the name of Rav A.M. Shach zt"l, there is no drawback in a match where the proposed bride is older than the proposed groom, and he said that his own wife was also older than him by four years). In a case of pressing need, one may be lenient even when she is older (Nitei Gavriel there, section 3, in the name of Kovetz Kerem Shlomo).

With blessing, Hillel Meirs