Halachot and Customs
A Halachic Proposal of Marriage
Question
Hello, Rabbi.
I saw that there are many laws and halachot regarding the concept of a marriage proposal, but this is very common in my circle of friends, and the woman I am engaged to also wants it. So I wanted to ask how to carry out a marriage proposal in a kosher way without doubts - that is, whether it is proper to kneel or not, whether the wording "Will you marry me" or "Would you like to marry me" is an invalid formulation, and whether it is permitted to bring her the ring in its box so she can put it on herself, or whether it is better to place it beside her so she can take it herself, or perhaps to give a different gift that is not a ring. I would appreciate an answer on this matter, thank you.
Answer
Hello and blessings
Kneeling is a custom of the gentiles.
Giving a gift is possible when one states explicitly that it is not for the sake of kiddushin, and it is preferable not to give a ring and not in the presence of other people.
One should ask: would you like to become engaged to me.
With blessings,
Benjamin Shmueli
