Halachot and Customs
Personal Questions on Marital Intimacy
Question
Dear Rabbi, hello.
I wanted to ask you a few questions that I do not know whether are proper and acceptable. Because the content of the question is somewhat immodest, I will try to ask in hints because I feel embarrassed, but I have no choice; I must know what halacha says.
Question 1) It is said that one may not be intimate with his wife when she is drunk. Was this meant only specifically for the days when it is for the mitzvah itself? Because I was told that it is good for me and my wife to drink a little wine.
Question 2) It was written that there must be complete darkness at the time of the mitzvah. Is it permitted, before the mitzvah itself, for the light to be on and then to turn it off? And if one is intimate not for the sake of the mitzvah, is it permitted to have the light on? Thank you, Rabbi, and pardon me for the content of the question.
Answer
Hello and blessings
A. There is no need to be ashamed, and one may ask in the clearest possible way, because it is the Torah, and we need to learn.
1. A little wine does not make you drunk.
2. Even if one is not being intimate for the sake of a mitzvah, the light should be turned off. Also, to increase pleasure between you and your wife, or even to be saved from the evil inclination, it is a great mitzvah to be with a woman.
At times other than marital relations, there is no restriction on being in the light.
With blessing,
Binyamin Shmueli
