Atonement for a Jew Who Had a Relationship with a Non-Jewish Woman

Best wishes,

Of course, this is a very grave transgression. Moreover, it is explained in Sefer Chokhmat Adam (klal 127, seif 1) that in every forbidden act of intimacy, aside from the prohibition the person violates through the act itself, he also violates the prohibition of emitting seed in vain. Therefore, one who is intimate with a non-Jewish woman, aside from the severe prohibition inherent in the act of intimacy itself, also violates the prohibition of emitting seed in vain.

Nevertheless, our Sages have already taught us (see Jerusalem Talmud, tractate Peah, chapter 1, halacha 1) that there is nothing that stands before repentance. Complete repentance is achieved through - 

a. regret over the sin. 

b. verbal confession (as below). 

c. and accepting upon oneself for the future not to return to this sin ever again (Rambam, Laws of Repentance, chapter 2, halacha 2).

Verbal confession means that one must say, "Please Hashem, I have sinned, I have done wrong, I have transgressed before You and did such and such, and behold I regret and am ashamed of my deeds, and I will never return to this matter" (Rambam, there, chapter 1, halacha 1).

And in order for the rectification to be complete, he should accept upon himself, without a vow, to increase his Torah study every day - more than he was accustomed to until now. This is in light of what is stated in Midrash Vayikra Rabbah (parasha 25, section 1): A person committed a transgression and became liable to death before the Omnipresent; what should he do and live? If he was accustomed to read one page, let him read two pages; to learn one chapter, let him learn two chapters, etc.

Similarly, it is written in Sefer Tanya (Iggeret HaTeshuvah, chapter 9) that because the flaw of the covenant through emitting seed in vain - and needless to say through illicit relations or other prohibited acts of intimacy, whether by Torah law or rabbinic law (for the words of the Sages are more severe, etc.) - damages the mind, its rectification is that he engage in Torah, for from wisdom it emerges. And this is what is written in Tanna Devei Eliyahu (note: I did not find it now, but it is found in the above Vayikra Rabbah): A person committed a transgression and became liable to death before the Omnipresent; what should he do and live? If he was accustomed to read one page, let him read two pages; to learn one chapter, let him learn two chapters, etc. That is to say, like the parable of a broken rope that is tied again, where at the place of the knot it becomes doubled and multiplied. And so it is with the rope of His inheritance, etc. See there.

With blessings,

Hillel Meirs