Bring Sunshine to the One Who Stumbled: A Timeless Lesson From Moshe Rabbeinu

"Any chance you can let out a few really loud screams right now?" a dentist asked a patient he had just finished treating.

"Scream? As loud as I can?" the patient replied, still speaking through numb lips. "But it didn't hurt that much."

"I know," the dentist sighed. "But if you scream loudly enough, maybe the four patients still waiting outside will run away, and I'll finally get home on time."

It is a funny joke, but it also points to a familiar human tendency. We often assume that making someone else feel worse, or making ourselves feel worse, is somehow productive. Yet the Torah teaches a very different approach.

Bringing Sunshine to the One Who Stumbled

After describing the revelation at Mount Sinai and the repetition of the Ten Commandments, Parashat Va'etchanan suddenly shifts to a practical mitzvah that would apply only after the Jewish people entered the Land of Israel.

The Torah tells us, "Then Moshe set aside three cities on the eastern side of the Jordan." These cities of refuge were designated for someone who unintentionally caused another person's death. The accidental killer would flee there and remain until the death of the Kohen Gadol.

At first glance, the wording seems unusual. Why does the Torah emphasize, "Then Moshe set aside"?

The Sages (Makkot 10a) explain the words "toward the sunrise" as Hashem telling Moshe, "Bring the sunrise to the murderers." Rashi explains that this means Moshe was instructed to provide for their needs and ensure they could live with dignity. Although the accidental killer required atonement, the Torah did not seek to crush them. Even while holding them accountable, it commanded compassion, support, and hope. In other words, bring them sunshine.

Punishment That Builds Instead of Breaks

Today we no longer have cities of refuge, but the lesson remains deeply relevant. The purpose of consequences is never punishment for its own sake. Their purpose is growth.

Rabbi Moshe Stern, in Birkat Moshe, explains that the Torah's phrase "toward the sunrise" teaches an important educational principle. Correction should come from a place of care, with the goal of ensuring the mistake is not repeated, not from anger or the desire to make someone suffer. Only correction that brings "sunshine" has the power to transform.

A remarkable story illustrates this idea.

As a family admired a newly finished garment, little Shalom DovBer, the future Rebbe Rashab of Lubavitch, noticed a leftover piece of expensive fabric still sitting in the tailor's pocket. In those days, customers purchased the fabric themselves, and any unused material was meant to be returned.

Without saying a word, the young boy reached into the tailor's pocket and pulled out the forgotten piece. The tailor immediately realized his mistake. Embarrassed, he apologized, admitted he had forgotten to return the fabric, and hurried away in humiliation.

Later, Shalom DovBer's mother gently rebuked him.

"Why did you embarrass the tailor?"

The child burst into tears.

Several weeks later, he approached his father, the Tzemach Tzedek, with an unusual question.

"Father, how does someone repair the sin of publicly embarrassing another person?"

"Why do you ask?" his father asked.

"I simply want to know," the boy replied.

When his mother later asked why he had not explained the reason behind his question, his answer revealed extraordinary sensitivity.

"Isn't it enough that I already failed by embarrassing someone? Should I also speak lashon hara about myself?"

The Way We Judge Ourselves

The lesson applies just as much to the way we treat ourselves. Everyone makes mistakes, sometimes small ones and sometimes painful ones. Our conscience usually does not need encouragement; it is already working overtime.

The purpose of healthy self-reflection is not endless self-punishment. Its purpose is growth, repair, and moving forward. Even after a failure, we should not continue attacking ourselves long after the lesson has been learned. Doing so serves no purpose.

Moshe's Remarkable Response

Moshe himself demonstrates this mindset. He knew he would never enter the Land of Israel. Few disappointments could have been been greater. Yet instead of dwelling on what he had lost, he immediately performed the mitzvah that was still within his reach by designating the three cities of refuge.

True, they would not become fully functional until later, but they could already be prepared. Moshe chose action over despair, hope over helplessness, and sunshine over darkness.

Immediately afterward, the Torah declares, "And this is the Torah that Moshe placed before the Children of Israel."

Perhaps this, too, is part of the Torah's message. The Torah was never given merely to remind us of our failures. It was given to help us repair them, improve, grow, and keep moving forward.

After all, screaming at ourselves as loudly as possible won't get us home any faster.