An Endless Dance: Tu B’Av Through the Eyes of a Bride

What do Tu B'Av, Shabbat Nachamu, Parashat Va'etchanan, and my wedding have in common? More than you might think.

1. Surrounded by Infinite Light

This week I've been thinking a great deal about the idea of the infinite limitlessness, eternity, and the endless light of God.

I know what you're probably thinking: Here she goes again, getting philosophical. And honestly, you're not entirely wrong. But this time I have a good reason.

God willing, I'm getting married in just one week (yes, it's finally happening!), and I wanted to delve into Chassidic teachings about the true meaning of the wedding canopy, the chuppah. What I discovered was remarkable: the central theme of the Jewish wedding is the revelation of the Infinite Divine Light (Or Ein Sof) that rests upon the bride and groom.

But what does that actually mean?

First, we must recognize something fundamental: a man and a woman are different. Even when they seem remarkably alike, they remain distinct individuals with different perspectives, personalities, and strengths.

How can two opposites truly become one? Only through something greater than both of them — something that transcends every difference, comparison, and limitation.

That "something" is God Himself.

When a couple is united by the shared purpose of building a home for the Divine, they are able to create a relationship that is everlasting, rooted not merely in human compatibility but in something infinite.

Then comes the next stage: children.

How is it possible that, years later, two people can look at a child and realize, "We brought this new life into the world"? The answer is that they did, but not by themselves. 

The power to create life is not merely biological. It is a miraculous, infinite gift that comes from Above. There are healthy couples who, despite every effort, struggle to have children, while others experience blessings that medicine itself cannot explain.

These precious days before the wedding are therefore a time for introspection, prayer, and spiritual preparation, so that when I stand beneath the chuppah, I will be worthy of receiving that surrounding Divine light — an infinite light that will bless my future husband and me with the privilege of building generations founded on holiness and purity.

This blessing is not limited to the bride and groom. Everyone present beneath the chuppah is touched by that spiritual light. It is a uniquely powerful moment to pray for family members, for friends, and for one's own heartfelt hopes.

2. The Full Moon and the Removal of Barriers

No day reflects this theme of infinity more than Tu B'Av, the Jewish calendar's great celebration of love.

Beyond the flowers, chocolates, and romance lies a profound spiritual message, one reflected in every significant event that occurred on this date throughout Jewish history.

Before anything else, step outside for a moment tonight. Look up at the full moon. Its quiet beauty and perfect fullness offer a glimpse of completeness.

The Jewish people are often compared to the moon. Just as the moon receives its light from the sun and reflects it in its own unique way, so too does Israel receive Divine blessing and reflect God's light back into the world.

The relationship is also compared to that between husband and wife. A wife receives, nurtures, and returns blessings in ways that multiply its impact.

Every Jew — and especially every Jewish woman, resembles the moon. Life has its cycles. There are times of growth and times of decline, moments of closeness and moments of struggle. There are also moments when everything seems illuminated — when God's presence feels especially close and our spiritual potential shines at its brightest.

That is what the full moon of Tu B'Av represents. Coming just days after Tisha B'Av, it symbolizes comfort after sorrow, rebuilding after destruction, and hope after despair.

Our Sages teach that the potential for redemption is born on Tisha B'Av. By the middle of the month, that hidden potential reaches a point of fullness.

One day, with the arrival of the final redemption, the moon will no longer diminish. It will remain in its fullest state, symbolizing a world filled with complete knowledge of God, perfect unity, everlasting joy, and eternal life.

This same theme of transcending limitations appears in every major event associated with Tu B'Av.

On this day, the deaths of the wilderness generation came to an end, restrictions preventing marriage between different tribes were lifted, and the daughters of Jerusalem danced in circles, which according to Kabbalah symbolizes eternity, with neither beginning nor end.

Further, the nights began to grow longer, encouraging greater Torah study, and perhaps most fittingly, Tu B'Av became the season of matchmaking and weddings, when the Infinite Divine Light is revealed beneath the chuppah.

3. Breaking Through Our Personal Limits

If we hope to overcome the remaining barriers of exile, each of us must first break through our own personal limitations.

If you attend one Torah class each week, try adding another, if you study two halachot each day, make it three. Even one small step beyond yesterday's limits has infinite value.

A tiny act of spiritual growth performed by many people together creates a transformation far greater than any one person could accomplish alone.

Parashat Va'etchanan offers us the perfect example.

Moses prayed 515 times to enter the Land of Israel. He did not give up. He continued pleading because his goal never changed.

His determination teaches us that we, too, must continue praying, hoping, and yearning for the complete redemption — for a united Land of Israel and for every Jew to be part of that redemption.

As the Midrash expresses it: "The Lion came in the month of the Lion and destroyed Ariel, so that the Lion will come in the month of the Lion and rebuild Ariel."

May we all merit to see that promise fulfilled.

And perhaps, before many of you come to dance at my wedding, we will first gather together at the greatest wedding of all — the eternal union between the Holy One, blessed be He, and the Jewish people in the Third Temple, which will never again be destroyed.

The Talmud concludes Tractate Ta'anit with these inspiring words: "In the future, the Holy One, blessed be He, will make a circle dance for the righteous... and He will sit among them."

Adapted from a talk by the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Parashat Va'etchanan, 1992.