From the Rebbetzin's Shabbat Table - Parashat Eikev

Dear Family and Friends, 

"Heal us and we will be healed" is a phrase familiar to all of us who pray the most important of all prayers, the Amidah. Prayer is far from new. In fact, when Adam, the first human being, was created, he was, to quote Targum, "a speaking spirit." At the time of his creation, there wasn't much opportunity to shmooze with the chevra.

He and Chavah communicated with Hashem as naturally as you communicate with your closest and most trustworthy friend.

DOES HASHEM SPEAK TO YOU?

Hashem's communication isn't necessarily verbal. If you close your eyes, breathe deeply, and give yourself even a split second to think about how each breath fills your lungs with the life force that sustained you yesterday and will sustain you tomorrow, you begin to hear Him. His language is what we call hashgachah - His aware, loving intervention. His story is what we call the sefirot, the aspects of His will through which He lets you know of His presence and become more and more willing to see how His traits are mirrored in your soul. Your natural language is far more limited- we have only words.

Speaking to Hashem is not so easy. You can see His unending giving. You see His hashgachah. You don't see Him. Imagery opens the door to your heart, yet He ultimately cannot be seen.

The way idol worshippers solved this "problem" was by creating gods in their own image - gods of compassion, power, and so on - and giving them physical features. There is another way to deal with this "problem." It too is destructive. 

It is by escaping from Him, becoming involved with what His engaging, beautiful world is without becoming involved with its Creator. You may even let this evolve into living a life in which maintain control is what your day to day life is all about. When the world was less corrupted by the love of autonomy and unceasing self-interest, people tended to hear two voices when they listened to themselves. 

The spiritual self that wants meaning and loves compassion and connection, and the animal self, the part of you that has the same narrow interests that animals do. All they want is pleasure and survival. Do you want much more than that? For some of us, the answer is a hearty no. Most of us have very fluid identities. 

The animal self isn't evil. It is also a bridge between you and Hashem if you are willing to use it to reach toward Him.

The animal self is the clay; the spiritual self - and you are the sculptor - you shape it. You can use it to translate your inner world into one in which the animal self and the spiritual self speak the same language, both working toward the same goal; being in touch with Hashem with both words and actions. That goal, though elusive, is immensely rewarding. It comes from their making peace with each other, which is the inner peace that so many of us find elusive. 

One of the ways we make this happen is through tefillah. When you ask Hashem for your real-world needs, the gap between words like "exalted" and "transcendent" and words like "income" or "illness" disappears. They all become part of your conversation with Him.

Adventures in Terem and Hadassah

My husband suffered terrible pain in his right shoulder (if it had been the left shoulder, we both would have been very frightened) along with overwhelming weakness. We went to Terem, Jerusalem's immediate care facility. It was very impressive - clean, efficient, and courteously managed. They concluded that he had some sort of mechanical shoulder problem together with a bad virus. We went home relieved to hear the good news while recognizing that a virus can linger for quite a while.

My husband's son wasn't satisfied with the "wait and see" verdict. He suggested that we see one of the Bostoner chassidim who "just happens" to be a world-class physician and who is also blessed with an extraordinary love of people. He is a family friend. We have been blessed in that department. He looked at the test results and immediately noticed that the electrolytes were missing. He sent us straight to Hadassah's emergency room. There they ran more tests and discovered a serious condition involving acid in the bloodstream, bacteria, and blood sugar levels that were far too high, despite my husband's careful use of insulin. The next day I called three of the heroic men who devote countless hours to helping people navigate the medical jungle of unfamiliar terminology, unclear decisions, and overwhelming bureaucracy. Unlike every previous interaction I had ever had with them, I simply couldn't get through. Even the efforts of my granddaughter, who is a medical professional, didn't help. She located someone who might have been able to contact the head of the department, but he was away on vacation. It was only then that the miracle happened.

I realized that I am not alone. I am not in charge. Everything is unfolding according to a plan far more intricate and beautiful than anything a human being can see. I was - and still am - deeply disappointed on one hand, with how long it took to hear Hashem speak to us, but anxiety is no longer playing the leading role. 

The words, "Heal us and we will be healed" remind us that this beautiful, complex, multifaceted gift called life is in Hashem's hands. Sometimes He draws us close through health, and sometimes He draws us close by reminding us of our fragility and mortality.

Go to the doctor - not out of desperation, but because Hashem expects you to care for the gift He has entrusted to you. (And choose a good doctor!) How should you treat a gift that no human being can give you? You should be careful with it. You should be kind to it. At the same time, listen to the messages that its Creator sends you with love and with an open heart. And yes, things are getting better. 

A Little Kabbalah 

Hashem both fills the world and transcends the world. He is in every cell, every atom. Nothing has true independence. The more you study what He allows you to see, the more you recognize His hidden hand. The more you recognize His hidden hand, the more awareness of His unity enters your mind and heart. This isn't emunah.

This is awareness, and your mind demands it in its search for meaning. Emunah begins where you realize there are places your mind simply cannot go. He is here, and at the very same time He is infinitely beyond the here and now. That is where emunah lives.

The capacity for emunah is already in your bloodstream. It is part of the inheritance Hashem gave us through His promises to the Avot.

A Short Lesson in Hebrew

Classical Hebrew is often referred to as Lashon HaKodesh. It is a language whose vocabulary allows you to express yourself in ways that connect both to the concrete world and to the world beyond it.

There is no word for victim in classical Hebrew. There are many words describing deep suffering and evil, but no word for victim. 

People often use the word korban as a substitute. They are mistaken. A korban is a means of drawing close to Hashem. The korbanot in the Beis HaMikdash revolve around bringing the animal self into harmony with the spiritual self in a unified effort to draw closer to Him.

Nothing could be further from the mentality of seeing yourself trapped in a labyrinth of chaos imposed upon you by other people or by circumstances beyond your control, while Hashem and His compassion remain hidden away in some inaccessible place.

You don't have to live there.

He is inviting you in.

Love,
Tziporah

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