Want Your Kids to Fall Asleep Faster? Stop Rushing Bedtime

The evening hours before bedtime can be challenging for many parents. Between trying to get children into bed on time and dealing with their own exhaustion after a long day, parents may rush through the bedtime routine, skipping moments of connection or cutting short that final conversation before the lights go out.

But child psychology experts say that rushing children to bed can actually have the opposite effect, making the bedtime process take even longer.

When parents try to speed things up, children may experience that pressure as a form of disconnection. In response, they may instinctively try to slow the process down in an effort to regain a sense of control.

Experts explain that children’s attempts to delay bedtime are not necessarily about being difficult or rebellious. Instead, they can reflect a genuine need for emotional connection and an opportunity for the nervous system to calm down after a busy day.

Why Rushing Bedtime Can Backfire

Rather than getting into a power struggle, parents are encouraged to set aside just a few minutes for meaningful connection. That could mean having a quiet conversation, reading a story together, or briefly talking about what happened during the child’s day.

Dr. Carla Allen, director of the psychology department at Phoenix Children’s Hospital, explains: “When parents treat bedtime like a race, it triggers the opposite response in children. Our pressure to speed things up triggers in them a desire to slow down, which increases their delaying behaviors in a desperate attempt to regain control.”

In other words, the more pressure children feel to hurry, the more they may resist. Taking a few extra minutes to slow down may ultimately make the entire bedtime routine easier.

A Few Quiet Minutes Can Help Children Unwind

Slowing down in the evening can help a child feel protected and secure. That sense of safety naturally lowers stress and anxiety, helping the body and brain transition from a state of alertness to one of rest.

Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, a psychologist and author, explains: “By slowing down, removing distractions, and being fully present, parents create a regulating environment where children feel safe enough to share their thoughts.”

This does not require an elaborate bedtime routine or a major change to the family schedule. Even on busy evenings, a few minutes of undivided attention can help children make the emotional transition from an active day to a restful night.

Slow Down Now to Save Time Later

For parents juggling packed schedules, spending additional time at bedtime may sound counterproductive. But experts suggest that those few minutes of connection can actually help the process go more smoothly.

A kind word, a short story, a question about the child’s day, or simply listening without distraction can create a calmer atmosphere before sleep.

Instead of treating bedtime as one final task to complete as quickly as possible, slowing down for a few minutes can give children the connection and security they need to settle. The result may be less resistance, an easier bedtime, and a quieter, more relaxing evening for the entire family.