Eden Harel: “In My Desire for Holiness, I Forgot to See My Husband”

Israeli television personalities Eden Harel and her husband, Oded Menashe, became religiously observant many years ago. Their journey toward a Torah-observant lifestyle is well known, at least in part, but Harel recently revealed that the process also created unexpected challenges in their marriage.

Speaking on her podcast, “Talks From Gan Eden,” Harel described the intense spiritual excitement she experienced at the beginning of her journey.

“There is something about the beginning of becoming religious. Anyone who has become religious knows what I’m talking about. There is a moment when you feel that Hashem is embracing you,” she said. “Everything is a sign; everything is a hug from Hashem. A bird flew by? It’s a sign from Hashem. I found a modest skirt at Zara? It’s a sign from Hashem.”

“I Forgot to See My Husband”

As her enthusiasm for religious growth intensified, however, Harel says she began overlooking something essential: her husband was moving at a different pace.

“Along the way, in this desire for more spiritual light, I forgot to see my husband,” she admitted. “I forgot to see what he wanted, and the slower process he needed compared with me. He needed a different amount of time to process things than I did.”

Looking back, Harel believes her eagerness to grow spiritually caused her to neglect one of the most important areas of Jewish life.

“In fact, I violated the most important principle we have: the relationship between one person and another, between a wife and her husband.”

Harel recalled wanting to completely transform their lives as quickly as possible.

“I wanted to throw away our entire life and jump into everything with both hands, because as far as I was concerned, every moment that we were not ultra-Orthodox was wasted time. I was simply wasting my time,” she said.

“I wanted only holiness, holiness, holiness. Oded was excited by the idea, but not by the dizzying pace I was moving at.”

When One Spouse Moves Faster Than the Other

Asked where the differences between them became most apparent, Harel explained that Menashe repeatedly asked her to slow down.

“He kept asking for a second, and he did not understand why I was running so fast. He asked to go ‘slowly, slowly.’”

Behind the disagreement was a larger question that many couples navigating major changes together may eventually face: Where is this journey leading?

“The question every couple ends up dealing with was: When will this end? Where will it stop? How far are we actually going to take this whole thing?”

Ultimately, Harel and Menashe continued their spiritual journey together. Today, the couple leads a fully religious lifestyle.

Looking back, however, Harel’s experience highlights an important lesson from those early years: even a sincere desire for spiritual growth must leave room for the person walking beside you.