From the Rebbetzin's Shabbat Table - Parashat Ki Teitzei

Dear Family,

First of all, I want to take this opportunity to thank all of you for your kind wishes for a refuah sheleimah for my husband, Dovid ben Sarah. He is, baruch Hashem, getting stronger, for which we owe Hashem great praise and thanks. He went back to his shiur in yeshiva today, something that would have been unimaginable last week.

“There is no time like the present.” What a cliché – if you don’t notice how Hashem created the world with its amazing and as-yet-unknown complexity. Everything has a purpose. This includes time – every moment has its own reason and message.

When Hashem created the sun and the moon, He made it possible for us to measure time. He told us that what we are looking for are “otot” (signs) and “moadim” (times of meeting).

The months are called chodesh, each one having its chiddush. A chiddush in Torah does not necessarily mean inventing something new. It can mean revealing something that was already contained within the Torah but had not yet been articulated or perceived. This Elul reveals something about what Elul is in ways that have not yet been seen.

Elul, like all of the months, have names that are Aramaic. We retained these names to demonstrate that exile itself can’t disguise the continual chiddush of Hashem’s involvement in our collective life as a people and in each of our individual lives. What does the word Elul mean? Onkelos uses this word when translating the Hebrew verb used to tell us what the spies Moshe sent on their disastrous trip to Eretz Yisrael were meant to do. It means to search out, explore, and investigate. The territory we explore in Elul is the most overwhelmingly beautiful of Hashem’s creations – our souls.

Tikkun and Takfid

The complexity that you can’t help but see when you look at yourself in the spiritual mirror called your conscience can be overwhelming. You are in Hashem’s image, but you can forget to look for Him in your soul, where He is always present.

You have all heard the way the Baal HaTanya described Elul – he called it the time when the King is in the field. Usually, in order to have any genuine communication with a King, you have to fight your way through His bureaucracy. Once a year, in the parable, He leaves His palace and goes to you, to your turf, your field.

Sounds good?

Maybe.

Imagine how you would feel on a particularly hectic short Friday afternoon. You gave in to the part of you that wanted a second cup of coffee and a leisurely glance at the headlines. You stopped, but nothing else did. The clock is still ticking. The kids want lunch. The unfolded laundry is smiling at you from the couch, and the chicken is informing you of the fact that it is defrosted by the mini-puddle on your kitchen floor just below the counter.

There is a knock on the door.

You take a quick peek. The distinguished guest you were thrilled to learn had accepted your invitation is waiting with a warm, cordial smile, their arms loaded with hostess gifts.

You wish there were a way to avoid opening the door. Oy vay! The King is in the field. Your field…

FOR SOME PEOPLE, THAT IS ELUL.

The problem here is that you assume that the mess you may have made of some aspects of your life – as we all have – is humiliating, and now you will have to face the consequences from the Creator who you perceive as angry and rejective.

Use a new word.

TIKKUN

You can step back and hear a voice from the other side of the door as it opens:

“I’m here to help you make things work.”

You open the door, and the light that doesn’t lend itself to description comes in with a feeling of both hope and faith.
There is a mess. For some, it is uncertainty. For others, insecurity. For others, selfishness. For others, impulsivity or addiction.

As soon as you open the door, your feeling changes from despair and shame to looking at the mess. The King is saying, “I know what to do, and so do you – I will help you rediscover Myself in you. You can do it.”

The Baal Shem Tov said that knowing your tikkun is what you learn when you see your imperfections. You were created to fix something in yourself, in your inner world, and in your relationship to the outer world.

You aren’t alone in Elul or at any time, but in Elul you can explore.

The King is in the field.

Here are a few words I am paraphrasing from Rabbi Wegbreit’s famous Elul chart.

THE WRONG WAY TO BEGIN:

• STAY IN YOUR COMFORT ZONE.
  
• LEARN ABOUT TSHUVAH, FIND IT INTERESTING, AND GO BACK TO THE COFFEE.

• LOOK AT INDIVIDUAL DEEDS AND LET THEM FILL YOU WITH GUILT, RATHER THAN LOOKING AT THE ROOT CAUSES AND GIVING THEM A NEW ADDRESS.
  
• PRIORITIZE STRINGENCIES PRACTICED BY TZADIKIM RATHER THAN EXAMINING YOUR REAL LIFE AND YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH THE PEOPLE HASHEM CHOSE TO SURROUND YOU WITH.
  
• FOCUS ONLY ON WHAT YOU LOVE ABOUT YOURSELF WITHOUT GETTING RID OF THE HABITS THAT CONCEAL THEM AND THE MIDDOt THAT DISTORT THEM.
  

THE RIGHT WAY TO BEGIN:

• QUESTION YOUR HISTORY AND LEARN WHAT MIDDOT NEED TO BE SHIFTED.
  
• ELIMINATE ALL FORMS OF NEGATIVE SPEECH.
  
• WATCH OUT FOR ANGER, IMPATIENCE, AND ARROGANCE.
  
• STOP PERIODICALLY AND LET YOURSELF FEEL THE JOY OF A MITZVAH ONCE YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE BUILDING A NEW ASPECT OF THE WAY JOY CAN TRANSFORM EVERYTHING ABOUT YOUR LIFE.
  
• AVOID INAPPROPRIATE GENDER ISSUES – THIS IS WHERE KEDUSHAH CAN BEGIN.
  

Now you are ready to rediscover your tafkid – the specific role you can play in your life and in the world.

Teshuvah means returning to Hashem, not despising yourself or losing track of your identity.

Guilt can be constructive only when you believe that under the layers there is something beautiful and unique that only you can express. Teshuvah will give you new access to yourself.

The key is compassion for the part of you that is the mirror image of Hashem’s galut HaShechinah, the exile of His presence.

Your tafkid is one in which the real you can come forth. It’s Hashem’s belief in you that made you the person you are, with your inherent biological imprints, your specific environment, living today with the choices you made yesterday, and the habits that may feel like they are the real you, when they are just camouflage that hides the real you.

Hashem is helping you discover, explore, and renew.

Enjoy every moment.
Love,
Tziporah