A Rabbi’s Journey: Finding Faith Through His Son’s Challenges

Rabbi Eliyahu Hayaiv and his wife faced a life-changing moment with the birth of their fourth son, Yosef Yehuda. What began as the joy of welcoming a new child soon became a journey filled with medical uncertainty, exhausting challenges, and profound questions of faith. Through it all, Rabbi Hayaiv came to see that even the most difficult path can carry meaning when viewed through the lens of emunah and Divine Providence.

When Everything Changed

“From the moment we found out Yosef Yehuda wouldn’t be a typical child, we asked, ‘Why us?’” Rabbi Hayaiv reflects.

Their story began ten years ago, when Yosef Yehuda was born. At first, everything seemed fine, but soon after birth, he was hospitalized with severe pneumonia. Although he was eventually discharged with a clean bill of health, new problems gradually began to surface.

“We couldn’t pin down what was wrong,” Rabbi Hayaiv explains. “Yosef Yehuda displayed symptoms that puzzled everyone. He had feeding problems, and every treatment seemed to cause more complications.”

Normally joyful moments became challenging as Yosef Yehuda suffered from severe reflux, causing constant discomfort and dental problems that eventually led to the removal of all his teeth by the age of three. His weak immune system also resulted in frequent hospitalizations.

His development was severely delayed, requiring around-the-clock care. “When we realized conventional medicine couldn’t help, we turned to alternative treatments,” Rabbi Hayaiv says, “but many problems persisted.”

The family’s expenses soared because of specialized medical nutrition and constant doctor visits. One of their most serious concerns was Yosef Yehuda’s inability to regulate his body temperature, a danger Rabbi Hayaiv says he could often sense intuitively.

“It felt like everything we knew was turned upside down,” he shares. “Plans we had for life were suddenly irrelevant.”

Finding a Mission Within the Challenge

Despite everything, Rabbi Hayaiv began documenting his experiences, believing that there was a mission within what his family was going through. His book, Miyuchad Bishvili (“Special Just for Me”), grew out of that journey and has since inspired others dealing with similar challenges.

Faced with such a difficult test, Rabbi Hayaiv turned increasingly to his faith, seeking to understand his experience as something more than suffering.

“We often feel a special needs child disrupts family life, but recognizing that the child belongs to Hashem changes everything,” Rabbi Hayaiv says, offering encouragement to other parents facing similar circumstances.

He recalls spending one Shabbat in the hospital. “I tried to bring some Shabbat spirit, even lighting candles. All around were reminders of normal life, families at home celebrating, while I was here. It was a profound moment of reflection.”

For those who ask how he manages to cope, Rabbi Hayaiv points to emunah: “When you realize that Hashem guides you through this journey, you embrace the challenges with gratitude.”

His message extends beyond parents of children with special needs. It speaks to anyone facing a situation that seems overwhelming or impossible to understand.

Seeing Divine Providence Along the Way

Yosef Yehuda’s journey also included moments that Rabbi Hayaiv saw as clear examples of Divine Providence. On one occasion, the family paid for an expensive consultation with a doctor that initially appeared to lead nowhere. But a chance remark from that consultation later prompted a hospital doctor to remember a novel treatment. That treatment ultimately brought Yosef Yehuda significant relief.

For Rabbi Hayaiv, experiences like these reinforced the belief that even when the purpose of a journey is hidden, a person is never walking it alone.

“These are the journeys undertaken by the children of Israel,” Rabbi Hayaiv concludes. “Each of us has our path in this world, guided every step of the way by Divine Providence. Lay your burdens upon Hashem and anticipate His salvation.”