Selichot and Teshuva: Why Hashem Never Gives Up on Us

Some people wait for Selichot all year. Some make an effort to get up and go to synagogue. And some feel that it is simply another task to finish before going back to sleep.

But I am not here to conduct a survey. I want to ask you a personal question: Where do Selichot really meet you?

Part of Me Wants It to Be Over

I am willing to confess for a moment and share where Selichot meet me. Sometimes I have mixed feelings. There is a part of me that is genuinely moved and connected, that longs to travel to the Kotel and finds itself humming the familiar melodies.

There is also a part of me that sometimes just wants it to be over. I know very well what is right and who I would like to be. But there is also a part of me that keeps my actual performance from being perfect, that prevents me from concentrating as I would like, that reminds me how small I am, and makes sure I will always have something to say Selichot for.

Perhaps this is actually one of the great questions of the days of Selichot: What do we do with the part of ourselves that refuses to cooperate?

Even From the Ends of the Heavens

This week's Torah portion offers a fresh and surprising answer: "If your dispersed will be at the ends of the heavens, from there Hashem your God will gather you" (Deuteronomy 30:4).

It is explained in Jewish teachings that "the ends of the heavens" symbolizes the most distant place a person can reach through his sins. And yet, even from there, "Hashem your God will gather you." Hashem's hand is always extended to those who return.

Chassidic works, including Mei HaShiloach and Pri Tzaddik, offer a similar interpretation of the verse at the beginning of Parshat Nitzavim: "You are standing today, all of you, before Hashem your God."

Whatever condition you may be in, you are still standing before Hashem your God. Similarly, "the ends of the heavens" alludes to precisely this idea. No matter how distant a person may have become, "from there Hashem your God will gather you." (Cited by Rabbi Elimelech Biderman in his Rosh Hashanah 5786 publication.)

Hashem Never Gives Up on a Jew

Hashem never gives up on a Jew. And if He does not give up on us, then we too must not give up on ourselves or our children.

Sometimes a child may seem to have wandered all the way to "the ends of the heavens." But if the Torah promises that "from there Hashem your God will gather you," then we as parents and educators have no right to give up.

Our task is to continue believing in the goodness within that child, even when it is still hidden.

Confession Is Not About Telling Yourself How Bad You Are

We need to remind ourselves of this again and again: Deep within, every Jew is fundamentally good and is home to a Divine soul.

The purpose of confession is not to depress us, tear us down, or make us tell ourselves how terrible we are. Quite the opposite. It is meant to demonstrate just how foreign sin is to our true identity.

By confessing our sins, we remove the barriers that stand in the way and move closer to the Creator and to the point of goodness that already exists within us and is engraved into our very being. Confession therefore becomes the means through which we discover that our true self is actually better than we thought.

This is why there is a custom to recite the confession with a melody rather than as a lament. Our sins can ultimately be transformed into merits, and that is something worthy of song (Tiferet Yisrael, Taanit 4:8).

The Real Preparation for Selichot

Perhaps this is the real preparation for Selichot. We do not need to deny the different parts within ourselves. We need to bring those parts with us too.

Even after all our failures and falls, our Father in Heaven still believes in us. And if He believes in us, then we can learn to believe in ourselves and in our children as well.