The Soul You Gave Me Is Pure: A Mother’s Final Shema Yisrael

“My God, the soul You have given me is pure. You created it, You formed it, You breathed it into me, and You preserve it within me. You will eventually take it from me and restore it to me in the World to Come. As long as the soul is within me, I give thanks before You, Hashem, my God and the God of my ancestors, Master of all creation, Lord of all souls. Blessed are You, Hashem, Who restores souls to lifeless bodies.”

Take a moment to listen to these powerful words. This is one of the blessings we recite as part of Birchot HaShachar, the morning blessings. Every morning, we receive a gift that we do not always fully recognize: the gift of waking up. After a night in which our soul returns to its Source, Hashem gives it back to us in the morning. It is a miracle that takes place every single day.

It does not end there. Our connection to the Source of all souls is not limited to the night, but remains with us throughout the day. The soul is a Divine spark sent into this world to repair, to learn, and to love. Despite our struggles and our mistakes, the innermost essence of the soul within each of us always remains pure.

The Responsibility of a Pure Soul

With that gift comes responsibility. Reciting this blessing each morning reminds us of the soul within us, of the Divine spark we carry, and of the responsibility and mission we have in this world. We are called to preserve the purity of the soul we have been given through our actions, our thoughts, and our words.

It is a daily invitation to begin again, to return to the Source of our soul, to begin each day with faith, and to bring more light into the world through the Divine spark within us.

In a sense, we return to the Source of souls not only at night, but throughout the day. Every time we perform a good deed in this physical world, our soul shines here. In the spiritual worlds, that light is magnified even further.

We have the ability to connect to higher worlds at any moment of the day. They are closer than we think. So much closer. We simply need to want that connection and choose to spread goodness and light. Every time we greet another person warmly, every time we bring light into someone else’s life, a greater light is created Above, and we bring the arrival of Mashiach closer.

“You Will Restore It to Me in the World to Come”

My mother is very close to me and to all of us. She disappeared from our lives so suddenly. I have not spoken to her or seen her for far too long, and the pain is enormous. But when we look beyond the physical reality of this world, we begin to understand that she is close. She speaks to us in so many ways.

She is very close to us. And perhaps the “World to Come” is closer than we imagine, if only we do our part and bring more warmth and light into this world.

Why I Could Not Fall Asleep Without Saying Shema

Ever since what happened to my mother, I have felt an intense inner need to say Shema Yisrael before going to sleep. I simply could not fall asleep without saying the verse. I could lie in bed with a million thoughts and worries running through my mind, but one thought kept returning: I had to say Shema Yisrael before I fell asleep.

Until now, I thought it was simply because I was afraid to sleep. Afraid to wake up the next morning and discover that nothing had changed. Afraid to open my eyes to the same terrible reality, knowing that I could not rewind what had happened as though rewinding a tape.

But after learning something about my mother that I am still struggling to comprehend, I understand the extraordinary power of the words:

“Shema Yisrael, Hashem Elokeinu, Hashem Echad — Hear, O Israel, Hashem is our God, Hashem is One.”

My Mother’s Final Moments

Last week, we learned about my mother’s final moments in this world from a woman who was wounded in the terrorist attack. Through her, we were given a glimpse into my mother’s final, deeply moving and sacred moments.

The woman told our family that she had been standing about three meters away from my mother before everything began. When she heard the first gunshots, my mother was hit. My mother fell onto the pavement, and a second later, the woman herself was struck by a bullet and wounded. Everything happened within seconds.

Unable to move, the wounded woman remembers turning to Hashem in her thoughts and asking, “Master of the Universe, what am I supposed to do now? You have brought me into this situation, and I cannot move.”

And then, just seconds after the shooting had begun, she heard Sarita, my mother, reciting the entire verse of Shema Yisrael. She heard her clearly. My mother was not screaming. She simply said, in her normal voice, “Shema Yisrael.”

When the wounded woman heard those words, she felt that she had received an answer through Sarita. In her thoughts, she turned to Hashem and said, “Thank You for giving me an answer to my question about what I should do now. I need to say Shema Yisrael.”

And that is exactly what she did.

She could not see Sarita, but she could hear her. Afterward, no further sound was heard from my mother’s direction.

Her Soul Departed With “Echad”

It appears that her soul departed with the word Echad, “One,” much like Rabbi Akiva, who recited the Shema in his final moments and whose soul departed as he prolonged the word Echad. My mother, Sarita, had been devoted to reciting Tehillim. In her final moments, she recited the Shema.

Alongside the terrible pain, there is something profoundly uplifting and overwhelming in knowing that my mother had the opportunity to say Shema Yisrael before her soul left this world.

There is an extraordinary holiness in that knowledge. To leave this world with the declaration of Hashem’s Oneness on one’s lips is an immeasurably powerful Kiddush Hashem. Now her story itself has the power to awaken and strengthen other Jews.

I Am Her Continuation in This World

Since learning what happened in those final moments, I have begun to understand my own nightly urge to say the Shema differently.

I feel that this is my mother speaking to me through signs, reminding me how important these words are and how sacred and powerful they are. I feel that she is telling me that I am her continuation in this world, gently pushing me each night to connect with her, with her soul, and with the Source of all souls.