From the Rebbetzin's Shabbat Table - Parashat Ha'azinu

Dear friends,

This Shabbat is the last one before Yom Kippur (yes, I assume this isn’t news), but when I was taking down the machzors this year, I came across one that I hadn’t looked at for a long time. It is called Machzor HaMikdash and besides having the entire service of Yom Kippur, it has illustrated Mishnaic and Talmudic visions of what was actually going on in the holiest place on the holiest day. One of the most intriguing arguments concerns the Kohanim who officiated. The Gemara asks, “Are they sheluchei d’Rachamana” - are they Hashem’s agents, acting on His behalf, or “Are they sheluchei didan” our agents, acting on our behalf. In halachah, you can’t make someone your agent, someone who is acting on your behalf, to do something (even perform a mitzvah) that you yourself can’t do. This makes the opinion that they are our agents very difficult. Are you a kohen? Am I? I am not allowed to offer sacrifices on the mizbeach, are you? If you are an ordinary non-kohen, how can you make a kohen your agent to do what you are not allowed to do? This is treated seriously in the Talmud, but Rav Moshe Weinberger had another approach that I found resonated deeply.

You are a kohen. So am I. Not in the sense of being a descendant of Aharon, but in the sense of being a member of a nation that Hashem described as “A Kingdom of Kohanim”. Rashi asks what being a kohen can possibly mean to you, if you are not a kohen. He points out that the text in navi tells you that “Dovid’s sons were Kohanim”. Since we know that Dovid was from the tribe of Yehudah, he certainly didn’t have sons who were Kohanim! In context it means that they were leaders. You are all members of a holy nation and a nation of kohanim; you are all leaders. You have friends, family, co-workers; some of you are influencers, teachers, or have more public aspects of the visible kohen part of you there for us to see. You may think erroneously that only visible Kohanim are real Kohanim.

Rambam tells us something else about what changing the world can mean. He says that if you have more mitzvot than sins you are considered to be a tzadik. If you have more sins than mitzvot, you are considered a rasha. If the sins and mitzvot are balanced evenly, your judgment is written on Rosh Hashanah, and sealed on Yom Kippur. Tzadikim are given life, evil people death - and when Yom Kippur concludes there is no longer a book of “intermediates” - everyone is considered righteous or evil, and given life or death. Obviously, this isn’t literal. It means that being genuinely alive or dead isn’t just a biological reality. It is a statement about how close you are to the source of life, or how distant you are. It has to do with having a bit of transcendence color your deeds, or being totally defined by the transient nature of this-worldly pleasure which can never become part of you.

This is not new to you.

The picture becomes more complex when you realize that the sins and mitzvot are not judged numerically. (For instance, if you were to say “I said 4,000 blessings, but only killed 9 people; what a tzadik I am” that equation doesn’t work….) Some deeds are heavier than others. The tricky part of this equation is that only Hashem can measure or weigh a deed. Rambam goes on and says that the same approach works for a city - if the majority of people are righteous, this city is judged as a righteous place, and if the opposite is true, then the city will be judged as evil. This form of judgment doesn’t exclude the world!

When you step back, what you see is that one deed can change everything. You are a leader, with the fate of the world in your hands whether or not you are fully aware of it, and whether or not other people regard you as a leader.

Rav Elyashiv was a leader before anyone knew of the depth and breadth of his scholarship. The girl sitting next to you on the bus may have saved an entire city when she finally decided that she won’t tolerate her outside appearance being in conflict with everything she believes in. A young soldier saying shema to the sound of gunfire may have done it.

The days of teshuvah are days when you might do it!

You may find yourself asking, “Who am I fooling - can 10 days of teshuvah and genuine effort to be the person you want to be change anything?” The reality is that you are like an athlete in training. If your coach can convince you even once that you will be the one who will break the three-minute mile, you may end up being the one who actually does it. Every Jew is that empowered.

I want to thank all of you who have been davening for my husband, Dovid ben Sara. Baruch Hashem, the first day of Rosh HaShanah he was called to the Torah and said HaGomel, the prayer of thanksgiving said when recovering from a dangerous illness. It may have been the prayers of you Kohanim who are not Kohanim that did it.

Learning to give yourself kavod is an essential aspect of kehunah - everything about their social status, clothing and more demanded kavod. Kavod is a hard word to define. It is a combination of appreciation, acknowledgment, and validation. If you need other people to give you kavod, you end up enslaved to everyone you will ever meet. If conversely your kavod comes from recognizing that you have a unique mission, one that no one else can do, it can be your lifeline when the outside world fails to affirm your intrinsic worth. You can escape by choosing to stop playing the game. YOU will never feel fully acknowledged by anyone human. Only Hashem knows your inner world. Only He can give you a day with the sanctity of Yom Kippur to release you from all of the guilt, heaviness, and false picture of yourself that may have taken years to develop.

Have a wonderful, joyous Yom Kippur

Love
Tziporah

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