Could a Marriage Proposal Require a Get? Rabbi Issues Warning

A romantic marriage proposal usually seems straightforward: he gets down on one knee, presents a ring, she says yes, and family and friends celebrate.

But could that moment have unexpected halachic consequences?

Rabbi Avraham Deri, chief rabbi of Be’er Sheva, has warned that under certain circumstances, a public proposal involving a ring and witnesses could raise a serious question over whether kiddushin, the first stage of Jewish marriage, may have taken place.

The issue could become particularly significant if the couple later decides not to marry.

“Marriage proposals held in a format in which the prospective groom proposes to the bride with a ring in the presence of friends and relatives, in a case where the groom later decides to withdraw the proposal, could lead to a situation in which the couple will require a get,” Rabbi Deri explained.

Does Giving an Engagement Ring Count as Kiddushin?

Importantly, this does not mean that every marriage proposal involving a ring automatically constitutes kiddushin.

According to the Ministry of Religious Services, the halachic status depends on the specific circumstances surrounding the proposal. Among the relevant factors are what the man said when presenting the ring, how it was given, who was present, whether valid witnesses were involved, and other details of the event.

Because seemingly small details can affect the halachic ruling, couples facing uncertainty about a past proposal should consult a qualified rabbi or authorized marriage registrar rather than drawing conclusions on their own.

The Warning Came During a Conference for Marriage Registrars

Rabbi Deri raised the issue during a professional study day organized by the Marriage, Kashrut and Rabbinate Division of Israel’s Ministry of Religious Services.

The event, held at the Be’er Sheva Religious Council under the leadership of Rabbi Ofer Kardi, brought together rabbis, marriage registrars, and representatives of religious councils throughout southern Israel.

Alongside the halachic discussions, participants received training on “Shirat Hayam,” a new national digital system for managing marriage procedures.

Registrars practiced opening and managing digital marriage files, verifying documents against databases, synchronizing information with Chief Rabbinate systems, documenting inquiries regarding Jewish and marital status, and issuing secure digital certificates.

Rabbi Hizkiyahu Samine, director of the Marriage and Rabbinate Division, said the study days were intended to combine strong halachic knowledge with improvements in the service provided to the public.

“The innovative series of study days reflects our commitment to continually improving the service provided to citizens,” he said. “The connection between deep halachic knowledge and advanced technological tools is an integral part of the process we are leading.”

He added that roundtable discussions allow professionals to address changing needs in the field while introducing new tools into Israel’s marriage registration system.

For couples, however, Rabbi Deri’s warning highlights a much more personal point: a proposal that appears purely symbolic may, in unusual circumstances, raise real halachic questions.

When a ring, certain words, and witnesses come together, it is worth knowing that the details matter.