Why Do We Suffer? Finding Meaning in Life's Difficult Moments

When something goes wrong, our natural response is to search for an explanation. Why did this happen? Who is responsible? What went wrong along the way? Sometimes we find an answer, while at other times we are left with questions. The Pele Yoetz suggests that during such moments, we should add another, more personal question to our reflections: Is there something in our own behavior that we need to change?

When Difficulties Become an Opportunity for Self-Reflection

In his entry on Tzarah (Trouble), the Pele Yoetz writes:

“Whenever a person experiences hardship, he should take it to heart and examine his actions, for God has arranged matters so that people should fear Him. He sends difficulties upon a person so that he will take heed and return to Him, like a cow that is struck to guide it back into its furrow.

“But if, in a time of trouble, a person does not take heed and repent, instead attributing everything to chance, his punishment is explicitly stated in the Torah, in Parshat Bechukotai: ‘And if, despite these things, you will not accept My discipline and you walk with Me as though everything is chance, then I too will walk with you in that manner, and I will increase your suffering’ (Leviticus 26).

“Therefore, when experiencing hardship, a person should not neglect to resolve to repent from at least one of the sins he has committed. Through this, God may show him compassion and bring him healing.”

The Pele Yoetz teaches that we should not simply endure a difficult period and then immediately return to our routines as though nothing had happened. Alongside our natural desire for the hardship to pass, it is worth stopping to consider whether there is something in our lives that requires improvement.

Examining our actions does not mean that we can know with certainty which particular deed caused a specific hardship. The workings of Divine Providence are beyond our understanding. However, difficult experiences can encourage us to look at our lives more seriously. Is there a habit we have wanted to change for a long time? A mitzvah we have neglected? A relationship in which we know we could treat someone better?

Rather than attempting to decipher what we cannot possibly know, we can begin with what we do recognize about ourselves.

The Deeper Meaning Behind Life's Challenges

The Pele Yoetz illustrates this idea with a striking analogy: “Like a cow that is struck to guide it back into its furrow.” When someone wants an animal to move in the right direction, he guides it back toward the path it is supposed to follow. Similarly, a difficult experience can prompt a person to stop and reconsider the direction of his life.

The Pele Yoetz then cites the verses from Parshat Bechukotai: “And if, despite these things, you will not accept My discipline and you walk with Me as though everything is chance, then I too will walk with you in that manner.” (Leviticus 26:23–24)

The Hebrew word keri is understood here as referring to a person who experiences something that could awaken him to reflection, yet chooses to regard it as a random occurrence and continue living exactly as before.

According to the Pele Yoetz, this is precisely the mistake against which the Torah warns. This does not mean that we can determine why a particular hardship occurred or identify a specific action that supposedly caused it. We cannot know Hashem's calculations. Nevertheless, when something disrupts our routine and shakes our sense of certainty, we should not automatically dismiss the experience as having no personal significance.

Even when we cannot understand why something happened, we can still consider what we might learn from it.

One Small Change Can Be a Meaningful Beginning

The Pele Yoetz concludes with practical advice: “When experiencing hardship, a person should not neglect to resolve to repent from at least one of the sins he has committed.”

He does not demand that a person transform every aspect of his life at once. Instead, he encourages us to identify one area that needs improvement and begin there. That might mean becoming more careful with our words, strengthening our commitment to prayer, making amends with someone we have hurt, becoming more conscientious about a particular mitzvah, or abandoning a harmful habit.

The lesson is not that every painful experience comes with an explanation we can uncover. Rather, even when the reasons behind our difficulties remain hidden, we can choose how to respond. We may not be able to understand everything that happens to us, but we can use difficult moments as opportunities for honest self-reflection and meaningful change.