Sarah's Secret to Inner Peace: Finding Good Even in Difficult Times

Parshat Chayei Sarah opens with the words: "And the life of Sarah was one hundred years, twenty years, and seven years—the years of Sarah's life" (Genesis 23:1). At first glance, the final phrase, "the years of Sarah's life," seems unnecessary. The verse has already introduced Sarah's lifespan and specified her age at death. Why does the Torah repeat these words? Rashi, citing our Sages, explains that the repetition teaches us that all the years of Sarah's life were equally good. Despite the different stages of her life, all her years formed one complete and unified whole.

How is this possible? Sarah endured extraordinary hardships and painful trials throughout her life. She remained childless until the age of ninety, was taken into the households of Pharaoh and Avimelech, faced difficult circumstances involving Hagar and Yishmael, and shared in the many challenges that Avraham encountered. How, then, can the Torah describe all her years as equally good?

The Spiritual Strength of Equanimity

The Sefat Emet (Chayei Sarah, 5656/1895) offers a beautiful explanation based on the concept of middat hahishtavut, or equanimity, discussed in Chovot HaLevavot. He explains that this quality reflects a person's ability to maintain inner spiritual stability regardless of changing circumstances. Both poverty and wealth present their own tests, and each stage of life brings different challenges. Sarah experienced years of famine, uncertainty, and hardship, followed by years of abundance and blessing. Yet throughout these dramatic changes, her essential character and faith remained unchanged.

Rabbeinu Bachya, in Chovot HaLevavot (Shaar Yichud HaMaaseh, Chapter 5), relates a fascinating exchange between two pious individuals. One asks the other, "Have you attained equanimity?" The second man asks what he means. "Are praise and criticism equal in your eyes?" When the second man admits that they are not, his companion responds that he has not yet reached this elevated spiritual level and should continue striving toward it.

This teaching introduces a profound quality: the ability to remain grounded in one's relationship with Hashem regardless of external circumstances or the opinions of others. At its deepest level, middat hahishtavut reflects the recognition that everything beyond our control unfolds under Hashem's precise guidance. Although some experiences appear positive and others painful, a person of deep faith understands that all are ultimately part of Divine Providence. From our limited human perspective, certain experiences may seem less favorable, less desirable, or less meaningful than others. But through the eyes of faith, each has its place within Hashem's greater plan.

A teaching attributed to the Baal Shem Tov connects this concept to the verse "Shiviti Hashem l'negdi tamid"—"I have placed Hashem before me always" (Psalms 16:8). The word shiviti can also be understood as an expression of equality or equanimity, reflecting the belief that Hashem's ways are always directed toward good (see the opening of Tzavaat HaRivash).

What Made Sarah's Years Equally Good?

The Torah does not necessarily mean that every year of Sarah's life was outwardly pleasant or free of suffering. Rather, all her years were equally directed toward good. Everything Sarah experienced, whether joyful or painful, became part of her spiritual development. The years of childlessness and the years she spent raising Yitzchak, the periods of wandering and the times of peace and stability, all formed part of a single, meaningful life.

Sarah did not measure the goodness of her existence solely by the comfort or happiness of her circumstances. Her faith enabled her to recognize that even life's most difficult experiences could have a place within Hashem's plan. As the mother of the Jewish nation and the wife of Avraham, one of history's greatest examples of faith, Sarah lived with the understanding that the ultimate goodness of life is not determined by whether everything unfolds according to our wishes.

The Chida, in his commentary Pnei David on the parsha, offers a fascinating observation about the opening word of the verse, vayihyu, meaning "and they were." In Hebrew, the word ויהיו reads the same forward and backward. The Chida explains that this symmetry alludes to the fact that all Sarah's years were equally good. Even when events seemed to move backward, in the opposite direction from what she desired, Sarah was able to perceive them as part of a greater good.

This does not mean that Sarah never experienced sadness, disappointment, or pain. Rather, her faith provided a foundation that remained steady even when her circumstances changed dramatically.

A Different Response to Life's Hardships

All our matriarchs possessed extraordinary spiritual greatness, far beyond our ability to fully comprehend. Yet the Torah records different expressions of their suffering, allowing us to appreciate the distinctive qualities each embodied.

When Rivkah witnessed the troubling conduct of Eisav's wives, she expressed her anguish to Yitzchak: "I am disgusted with my life because of the daughters of Chet. If Yaakov takes a wife from the daughters of Chet, like these daughters of the land, what good is life to me?" (Genesis 27:46). Rivkah was deeply distressed by the possibility that Yaakov might marry someone whose values were incompatible with the spiritual future of their family. The thought was so painful that she questioned the value of continuing to live under such circumstances.

Similarly, when Rachel saw her sister Leah giving birth while she remained childless, she cried out to Yaakov, "Give me children, and if not, I am dead" (Genesis 30:1). Rachel's words reveal the depth of her suffering and the overwhelming longing she felt to become a mother.

These expressions do not diminish the greatness of Rivkah or Rachel. They reveal the tremendous emotional challenges they endured and the intensity of their personal struggles. Sarah, too, experienced profound hardship. She endured decades of childlessness, uncertainty, displacement, and numerous painful tests. Yet the Torah does not record her expressing the same despairing declarations of "What good is life to me?" or "If not, I am dead."

The Sefat Emet's interpretation offers a way to understand this distinction. Sarah's defining quality was her ability to maintain a steady sense of Divine goodness throughout the changing circumstances of her life. She did not need every situation to be pleasant in order to recognize its place within a larger purpose. Her sense of meaning was not entirely dependent on whether her immediate hopes had been fulfilled. This was the extraordinary strength of her middat hahishtavut.

The Legacy Sarah Leaves Us

Sarah's life offers a powerful lesson about faith, resilience, and the way we interpret our own experiences. We naturally divide our lives into good periods and difficult ones. We remember times when everything seemed to fall into place and others when our plans collapsed, our prayers appeared unanswered, or circumstances moved in precisely the opposite direction from what we wanted. It is easy to regard the happier periods as the meaningful ones and the painful years as interruptions we wish we could erase.

Sarah's example challenges this perspective. Her life teaches us that goodness is not always measured by immediate comfort, visible success, or the fulfillment of our expectations. Sometimes the most difficult periods become part of our deepest growth. Sometimes what initially appears to be a setback contributes to something we could never have anticipated.

This does not require us to deny pain or pretend that suffering feels good. Equanimity is not emotional numbness, nor does it mean that we should stop hoping, praying, or working to improve our circumstances. Rather, it means cultivating an inner stability rooted in the understanding that Hashem remains present through every stage of life, including those we struggle to understand. The circumstances of our lives may change dramatically, but our connection to Hashem can remain constant.

This is the legacy of Sarah Imeinu: not a life without hardship, but a life in which hardship never erased the possibility of goodness. All her years were equally good—not because everything that happened was easy, but because she recognized that every stage of her life belonged to Hashem's greater plan.