What Will People Remember About You? A Lesson From Chayei Sarah

Parashat Chayei Sarah is a Torah portion that, despite its name, seems to focus more on death than on life.

The name Chayei Sarah means “The Life of Sarah,” suggesting a beautiful account of her life and experiences. Yet the portion doesn't actually describe the events of Sarah's life. Instead, it begins with her death and concludes with the death of Abraham.

If the portion deals with death, funerals, and farewells, why does it have a name filled with so much hope and meaning: “life”?

Our Sages explain the verse, “And the life of Sarah was… the years of the life of Sarah” (Genesis 23:1), as teaching that all of Sarah's years were equally good.

Sarah received one of the greatest gifts of all: the ability to live a life that was fully meaningful, right up to her final moment.

She didn't simply allow time to pass her by. She chose how to use it.

The question we should be asking ourselves isn't “How long did we live?” but rather, “Did we truly live?”

As the saying often attributed to Anthony Robbins goes, everyone dies, but not everyone truly lives. And therein lies the difference between simply existing and making the most of the life we've been given.

What Will People Remember About You?

Let's take a moment away from the rush of everyday life and ask ourselves an important question:

When the chapter of my life comes to an end, what will people remember about me?

We're not talking about the wealth we accumulated or the professional titles we earned. Those things eventually fade from memory.

We're talking about our character, our legacy, and the example we set. The way we made others feel, the unexpected acts of kindness we offered, and the values we chose to live by.

When I'm invited to speak at memorial gatherings and ask what I should talk about, nobody mentions the size of the person's bank account. Instead, people talk about who they were, the comfort they brought to others, the example they set, and their ability to be there when someone truly needed them.

As parents, our responsibility isn't simply to give our children life in the physical sense. It's also to teach them how to truly live.

We need to show them how to choose a life filled with purpose and help them understand the difference between being successful, which is often measured by external achievements, and living a meaningful life, which comes from within.

If we go through life on autopilot, our children are likely to learn to do the same.

A Simple Exercise to Change How You Live

Today, instead of allowing yourself to be swept along by the pressures of daily life, take a moment to stop and reflect.

Choose how you want to be remembered.

Think of one word that describes the legacy you hope to leave behind. Loving? Generous? Reliable? Inspiring?

Let that word guide your decisions.

Ask yourself whether the decision you're about to make reflects the person you want to be remembered as.

Whether you're about to lose your temper, put something important off, make an unnecessary purchase, or stay late at work, consider whether your choice brings you closer to the values you want your life to represent.

When we know how we want to be remembered, we begin to understand how we should live today.

Let us follow Sarah's example and strive to live a life in which every day is filled with meaning and purpose.

It's both a responsibility and one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves and our children.

What is the one word you would want to define your life? Share it with us!

Rabbi Chananya Mans is a lecturer, parenting coach, and emotional therapist specializing in technology addiction.