The Secret to a Blessed Life: Lessons from Sarah and Avraham

"And Sarah's lifetime was one hundred years, twenty years, and seven years—the years of Sarah's life" (Genesis 23:1).

At the beginning of Parshat Chayei Sarah, Rashi cites a Midrash that examines the Torah's unusual repetition of the word "years." Rather than simply stating that Sarah lived 127 years, the Torah divides her lifespan into three distinct periods: one hundred years, twenty years, and seven years. Rashi explains that each stage is compared to another. At one hundred, Sarah was like a twenty-year-old with regard to sin. Just as a twenty-year-old was considered free of punishment under the traditional reckoning cited by the Midrash, so too Sarah remained free of sin at one hundred. Similarly, at twenty, she was like a seven-year-old in beauty. Rashi concludes that all the years of Sarah's life were equally good.

What is the deeper significance of these comparisons? Why does the Torah emphasize the relationship between different stages of Sarah's life, and what does it mean that all her years were equally good?

The Spiritual Challenges of Youth and Old Age

One of the rebbes of Sadigura offers a profound explanation: Every stage of life has its own advantages and challenges. During youth, a person possesses physical strength, energy, and enthusiasm, making it possible to pursue mitzvot with eagerness and devotion, as Pirkei Avot teaches: "Run to perform a mitzvah" (Avot 4:2). Yet youth also brings powerful desires and impulses that can make resisting temptation particularly difficult. The primary spiritual challenge of youth is therefore sur mera—"turn away from evil" (Psalms 34:15). A young person must devote considerable effort to avoiding wrongdoing and distancing themselves from the jealousy, lust, and pursuit of honor that our Sages warn can lead a person astray.

As people grow older, the nature of their spiritual struggles often changes. The intensity of youthful passions may diminish, and temptations that once seemed overwhelming may no longer exert the same influence. This does not mean that life's challenges disappear, as the yetzer hara, the evil inclination, does not retire. It is often compared to the "old and foolish king" described in Ecclesiastes (4:13). Having spent thousands of years attempting to lead humanity astray, it has no intention of abandoning its work simply because a person has reached old age. Instead, its tactics change. Whereas in youth the evil inclination may encourage a person to pursue forbidden pleasures, in old age it may seek to discourage the performance of mitzvot altogether. It whispers, "You're old and tired. You don't need to go to prayers today. You don't have to get up so early. It's cold outside. Stay in bed a little longer."

In this stage of life, the challenge is often no longer primarily sur mera, avoiding evil, but aseh tov—doing good. The Book of Proverbs describes the field of a lazy person (Proverbs 24:30), illustrating the consequences of allowing inactivity and neglect to take hold. The evil inclination exploits weariness and encourages a person to abandon worthwhile activities under the pretext of age or exhaustion. Thus, every stage of life presents a different spiritual test. Young people may have the strength and energy to perform mitzvot enthusiastically but struggle to control their desires. Older people may find it easier to resist certain temptations but must overcome the tendency toward complacency, inactivity, or diminished motivation.

Sarah, however, possessed the virtues of both stages without succumbing to their respective weaknesses. Even at one hundred, she retained the eagerness and enthusiasm of a twenty-year-old in performing mitzvot, continuing to serve Hashem with energy and dedication. At the same time, even in her youth, she demonstrated the self-restraint and moral discipline more commonly associated with maturity. She did not allow youthful passions or desires to lead her toward wrongdoing. This is the deeper meaning of Rashi's explanation that Sarah was like a twenty-year-old at one hundred. She carried the strengths of youth into old age while maintaining the spiritual purity and self-control that develop through a lifetime of devotion.

The comparison between Sarah at twenty and seven years old carries an additional lesson. A seven-year-old girl does not generally approach physical beauty with the same concern for appearance, admiration, and public recognition that may develop later in life. A young woman of twenty, by contrast, may be more conscious of her beauty and the attention it attracts. Sarah did not allow such considerations to occupy her heart. Even at twenty, she approached physical beauty with the innocence and simplicity of a child. As King Solomon teaches, "Grace is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears Hashem, she shall be praised" (Proverbs 31:30).

Sarah understood that the true purpose of life was not to pursue admiration or external appearances, but to fill her years with mitzvot, kindness, and spiritual accomplishments. Her thoughts were directed toward preparing herself for the eternal world through good deeds, embodying the verse, "She laughs at the days to come" (Proverbs 31:25). In this way, Sarah spent her entire life refining her character and fulfilling her spiritual potential. She preserved the strengths of each stage of life while overcoming its unique challenges. This is why the Torah declares that all her years were equally good: Every period of her life was devoted to serving Hashem and striving for spiritual growth.

The Proper Way to Use Wealth

"Four hundred silver shekels, in the currency accepted by merchants" (Genesis 23:16).

Later in the parsha, the Torah describes Avraham's purchase of the Cave of Machpelah for four hundred silver shekels, providing an opportunity to reflect on his relationship with money and the purpose of material wealth. Hashem blessed Avraham with tremendous wealth, yet he did not regard his possessions as something to accumulate solely for his own benefit. Instead, he used his resources to perform extraordinary acts of kindness. The Talmud in Bava Metzia (86b) describes how Avraham would slaughter a calf for each guest so that he could serve a special delicacy of tongue with mustard. His generosity extended even to strangers who did not share his beliefs, including travelers whom he initially believed to be idol worshippers.

Despite the enormous resources he devoted to hospitality and charity, Avraham did not fear that his wealth would be depleted through giving. He understood that when a person genuinely loves performing acts of kindness, Hashem can bless that person with greater abundance, enabling them to continue helping others. Sometimes people wonder how a particular individual manages to give away so much money. Where does all that wealth come from? According to this teaching, the answer may be precisely the opposite of what we assume: It is because the person gives so generously that Hashem continues to provide them with the means to give.

Our Sages allude to this principle in their interpretation of the verse, "Because of this matter, Hashem your God will bless you" (Deuteronomy 15:10). The Talmud in Shabbat (151b) describes wealth and poverty as part of a wheel that turns in the world, teaching that generosity plays a central role in the blessings a person receives. Charity and kindness, in this understanding, are not merely expenses that reduce one's resources. They are among the forces that bring blessing into a person's life.

The opposite attitude can also become a spiritual obstacle. Some people insist that they cannot afford to give anything to charity. They look at their financial difficulties and conclude that generosity is simply beyond their means. The teaching offers a homiletic interpretation of the verse, "This poor man called, and Hashem heard" (Psalms 34:7). A person repeatedly declares, "I'm poor. I have nothing. My bank account is overdrawn. How can anyone expect me to give?" In this interpretation, the words "This poor man called" suggest that the person continually defines himself through his lack of resources. Hashem hears that declaration and, measure for measure, allows him to remain trapped in that sense of deprivation.

The message is not that every person facing financial hardship is responsible for their circumstances. Rather, the teaching challenges the belief that giving must always wait until we feel completely financially secure. Within one's means and obligations, generosity can be an essential part of a life directed toward blessing.

The Wheels That Keep the Wagon Moving

A parable illustrates this principle. A wagon driver once decided that he wanted his wagon to travel faster. He considered what might be weighing it down and preventing it from moving efficiently, eventually concluding that its heavy wheels must be the problem. So he removed them. But when he tried to move the wagon, he discovered his mistake. Without wheels, the wagon could not travel at all. The very objects he had considered an unnecessary burden were actually what made movement possible.

The same idea applies to charity. A person receives a salary and sets aside a portion for ma'aser, charitable giving. As the month progresses, however, expenses accumulate, financial pressures increase, and the person struggles to make ends meet. Looking for ways to reduce spending, the person reviews household expenses and eventually decides to cut back on the charity they had committed to giving. Yet according to the lesson of the parable, this may be like removing the wheels from the wagon. The charitable contributions that appear to be reducing one's available income may, in a spiritual sense, be among the very channels through which blessing enters one's life.

Our Sages express a related idea in the Talmud (Ketubot 67b): "The salt of money is its diminution." Just as salt preserves food, giving away a portion of one's wealth for worthy purposes is described as a means of preserving it. The teaching encourages a person to examine whether some personal comforts and luxuries might be reduced before abandoning the commitment to helping others. At the same time, charitable giving should be undertaken responsibly, with appropriate consideration for one's actual financial circumstances and obligations.

This was the way of Avraham Avinu. His home was open to guests, his possessions were used for the benefit of others, and his wealth became a means of bringing kindness into the world. In return, Hashem blessed him with abundance, enabling him to continue his acts of generosity. As the verse describes, "According to the good hand of Hashem upon him" (Ezra 7:9).

May Hashem open our hearts so that we may always merit to give generously, extend kindness to others, and use the blessings entrusted to us for worthy purposes. And may we soon witness the consolation of Zion with compassion and mercy. Amen.