What If Life Could Be Easier? Learning to Appreciate the Simple Moments

One of the things that brings me the greatest joy is hearing that expressions I've coined from everyday experiences in family life, marriage, and faith have begun making their way into other people's homes. There's something wonderful about discovering that a simple phrase can change the way we experience an ordinary moment.

One of my favorites is "Just come and eat." Picture yourself in the kitchen, busy preparing a meal, when your husband starts hovering nearby, asking endless questions. How do you make this dish? What's in it? How do you know when it's ready? Deep down, you know he's not asking because he plans to prepare the same dish himself an hour from now. He's either hungry or trying to flatter you. So you smile lovingly and say, "Just come and eat." What you're really saying is, "Let me do this for you. In a little while, I'll call everyone to the table. You'll make your blessings, eat, and enjoy yourselves. I'm here for you. This is all for you. Don't worry about the details. Just come and eat." It's a beautiful way of turning what might otherwise become irritation into an expression of love.

Another expression I love is "I'm coming in the baby carrier." It describes those family vacations, outings, or celebrations when you've decided to leave the planning to your husband and children. You trust them to make the arrangements, partly because you no longer have the energy to oversee every little detail, but also because you've finally discovered the joy of letting go. You've graduated from the endless lists of things you have to do and begun appreciating the simple pleasure of just being. You've made peace with imperfection, and you're perfectly happy to let everyone else take care of things for a change. You show up, enjoy the company, go with the flow, and focus on what really matters. It may look like you're doing less, but there's something wonderfully mature about allowing yourself to enjoy the fruits of other people's efforts.

A new expression that came to me during a recent filming session at Hidabroot, is “It can be easy.” We were filming an episode of my program, Patuach ("Open"), which addressed a particularly sensitive and emotionally complex subject. Before the cameras started rolling, the talented Moriah Hakak—our photographer, director, and editor—and I were quietly discussing how best to approach the interview. We wanted to ask the right questions and create the right atmosphere so our guest would feel comfortable sharing as much as possible. After all, the quality and success of the episode depended on it.

Then the cameras started rolling, and something remarkable happened. The interview was perfect. Just like that. Without any struggle or extraordinary effort, our guest opened up and gave us everything we had hoped for in the very first take. Moriah looked at me, and I looked at her. It was one of those knowing glances that needed no explanation. I walked over to where she was standing behind the camera and quietly said something that had just occurred to me: "It can be easy."

Suddenly, I realized how powerful those four little words could be.

Why Do We Expect Everything to Be Difficult?

Somewhere along the way, we've become accustomed to believing that everything worthwhile must be difficult. We surround ourselves with methods, solutions, treatments, strategies, and endless efforts to improve our circumstances. We become so absorbed in the struggle, sometimes even addicted to the adrenaline of trying to fix everything, that we find ourselves constantly asking, "When will things finally get better?" We worry, anticipate, plan, and work toward the future, forgetting that Hashem has already given us so much in the present.

Think about the beautiful words of Birkat Hamazon: "Ve'achalta vesavata uveirachta"—"You shall eat, be satisfied, and bless." These words remind us not only to receive Hashem's blessings, but also to recognize and appreciate them. How often do we rush past moments of satisfaction because we're already worrying about the next thing? We're so busy trying to reach a better future that we forget to enjoy the blessings we've spent so long hoping and praying for.

Sometimes, the very thing we struggled to achieve finally arrives, and we barely stop to appreciate it. We work toward a dream, build a career, or devote ourselves to a demanding project, only to move immediately on to the next challenge. Consider a couple who have prayed for years to have a baby. When that precious child finally arrives, life becomes filled with responsibilities, worries, and endless things to accomplish. Amid all the demands of parenthood, they may need to remind themselves to simply hold their baby, enjoy the moment, and appreciate the blessing they once longed for so desperately.

These are the moments of rest and fulfillment we were working toward all along, the little Shabbat-like pauses in our lives when we can finally enjoy what we've been given. Yet sometimes, we're so accustomed to striving that we forget how to simply be.

Learning to Notice When Things Go Right

Since that day in the studio, I've begun noticing how often we complicate things that don't actually need to be complicated. We expect resistance, anticipate problems, and prepare ourselves for exhausting struggles, even when the situation might unfold quite naturally. And now, whenever I encounter one of those moments, I find myself saying aloud, "It can be easy!"

You're preparing food for Shabbat, and before you know it, everything is ready. It can be easy. You sit down to explain something to your child, expecting a long and frustrating conversation, and your child understands immediately. Really? It can be easy! Your husband asks you for something, and instead of turning it into a complicated discussion, you simply smile and say, "Of course." Easy.

Not every situation needs to become a struggle, and not every accomplishment must be earned through frustration, anxiety, and endless effort. Sometimes, things simply work out. Hashem is constantly giving us blessings, including the small, effortless moments we barely notice. Perhaps all He asks is that we recognize them, appreciate them, and allow ourselves to enjoy them.

Of course, life brings genuine challenges, and not everything can or should be easy. But that doesn't mean we need to approach every experience expecting difficulty. Sometimes, the greatest change begins when we stop assuming that everything must be hard and start recognizing the goodness already present in our lives.

Because sometimes, it really can be easy.