What Still Brings Tears to Elimelech Zilbershlag: "I Felt as if the World Ended"

"I entered the room, a young boy of 13. He asked me if the rabbi at the yeshiva respected me, if I enjoyed yeshiva, if the food was tasty, and if the bed was comfortable. He didn't ask if I was studying, like you would expect a rabbi to ask a student, nor if I was praying, putting on tefillin, or dipping in the mikvah. He simply wanted me to have fun there. Two years ago today, my rebbe, Rabbi Eliezer Hager of Sanz Vizhnitz, passed away. I remember the announcement that came and to this day I refuse to accept it. I recall seeing the holidays, the festivities, the beautiful moments and even the less so, which were always with him. Nothing happened without him.
Many around me ask why I tear up when I talk about him. Or, simply put: what does a 20-year-old have in common with a 90-year-old? Why did thousands attend his funeral and continue to mourn him thereafter? The answer is not logical, it's emotional; this connection is the strongest emotional bond in my life. I grew up on the path of Chassidus, on the knees of the rebbe. There was no milestone without him. Before my brit, he was the one who chose my name along with my parents. In my chalaka, he cut my hair, but only after sitting me on his knees and talking to me as if I were a regular conversational partner.
At my bar mitzvah, he put on tefillin with me, just him and me, and kissed my forehead. I wish I had the chance for the rebbe to dance with me at my wedding. I wasn't so fortunate.
My rebbe was unique. Starting with love for every person as a way of life, the gentle hands that were the strongest thing in the world, the kind eyes that were always there, and the smile, oh the incomparable smile. The sound advice he always knew how to give and the paternal interest accompanied by rare intelligence and wisdom were everyday in my life, and then that message arrived two years ago. I lost a rebbe who was like a father. Rebbe, ich hob dir lib. (I love you)