Halachot and Customs
Relations with a non-Jewish woman, how can one atone?
Question
First of all, I want to thank you for the site. You are doing sacred work. Thanks to the site and the lectures, I have become very close to religion. May you be blessed. Now to my question. In the past I dated a non-Jewish woman for 3 years. We have been separated for almost 4 years. Since then, it can be said that I have not been with anyone else. I have been returning to observance for almost half a year now, with everything that this includes. Recently I heard about the many consequences of intimate relations with a non-Jewish woman, and it occurred to me that perhaps because of this I have difficulty finding my match. It is important to note that I do not waste seed. I regret that relationship, and I am currently changing all my patterns of life because of religion. For some reason I feel that there was something in that relationship that was very strong for me and is holding me back. My question is whether I am supposed to do something, perhaps a tikkun, and whether I need to be concerned about this matter.
Answer
Hello, dear sir
You are fortunate to have merited to ascend the right path, and as is known, repentance atones for all sins, even for the severe and terrible sin of relations with a woman who is not Jewish, regarding which it is explained in the Talmud that the non-Jewish woman with whom he had relations becomes attached to him in a close bond like a dog tied to its owner.
On the other hand, it may indeed be that in order to remove this bond that blocks one’s fortune, a certain tikkun should be made by someone who is expert in these matters. My trustworthy advice is that you go to the study hall of the Admor Rabbi Yoshiyahu Pinto, may his light shine, in your city of Ashdod, and tell him in simple words, without embarrassment, that you were privileged to return in repentance, and that before that you had relations with a non-Jewish woman, and ask him what can be done about it. I assume that with him you will find peace of mind.
If something does not work out for you, or if you need me personally to speak first with Rabbi Pinto, send a new question to the site and I will take care of it.
Success - Menashe Yisrael
