Marriage in the Month of Elul

Hello and blessings

The month of Elul, corresponding to the sign of Virgo, is a month prepared for blessing, and kindness and mercy are awakened in the world then, and it is called by everyone the month of mercy and forgiveness. In the name of our teacher, the sacred genius, the author of Divrei Chaim of Sanz, of blessed memory, it was said in the study hall that at every wedding canopy he was afraid to raise his eyes from the awe of the Divine Presence present there, and he further said that if a wedding canopy happened to come his way in the month of Elul, this was a preparation for him toward the holy days that are approaching.

And also regarding the custom of refraining from marriages during the days of the waning moon, in this month many ruled for blessing and not for curse, for the entire month is fit for blessing, and there is no arousal of judgments at all, even during the days of the waning moon, as was testified by the sacred genius Rabbi Tzvi Hirsch Shapiro of Munkatch, of blessed memory, in his book Derech Teshuvah (section 179, subparagraph 18): I heard from an old community judge here in our community who told that he remembers that in the time when my grandfather, the holy genius, the author of Bnei Yissaschar, of blessed memory, who was the head of the rabbinical court here in the community of Munkatch, they would perform marriages throughout the month of Elul, even at the end of the month, and it was according to his holy words that in this month, even during the waning of the moon, it is as auspicious a time as in any other month during the time of the full moon, for every day in this month is an awakening of days of favor for goodness and blessing for Israel.

However, there were communities in Israel that would refrain from setting weddings during these favorable days, and they learned this from what the decisors wrote about refraining from weddings during the Ten Days of Repentance, as the gaon Rabbi Chaim Chizkiyah Medini, of blessed memory, brought in his book Sdei Chemed (section Chatan and Kallah, letter 23), that in one city they wanted to institute not marrying a woman at all during the month of Elul. However, he rejects their words, saying that it is an error on their part, and he testified grandly: I testify about myself that I entered the wedding canopy in the holy city of Jerusalem, may it be rebuilt and established speedily in our days, in the month of Elul, and the bride was brought into the house of the great and renowned rabbi, our teacher Rabbi Yitzchak Farhi, and there were at the wedding canopy almost all the great men of the generation, the rabbis, the towering geniuses of the Land of Israel, of blessed memory.

Nonetheless, Sdei Chemed (there) brought the testimony of one great rabbi who testified that the leading rabbis refrain from arranging a wedding canopy and kiddushin during the Selichot days, and Sdei Chemed wrote that even in a place where Selichot are said throughout the month of Elul, one need not refrain except during the week before the Day of Judgment. And the reason for refraining from weddings during the Selichot days he wrote is that they are days of weeping over the bitter consequences of sins, for they have sinned against the soul throughout the year; therefore, it is not proper to hold on these days dances and celebrations and musical instruments that lead to drunkenness and frivolity, similar to what the geonim wrote as the reason for refraining from weddings during the Ten Days of Repentance. According to law, it is permitted to marry in every month, aside from the Nine Days from Rosh Chodesh Av until after Tisha B'Av, and for Ashkenazim no weddings are held from the 17th of Tammuz until after Tisha B'Av. Likewise, during the days of the counting of the Omer, one refrains from weddings, each person according to his custom. 

Success and mazal tov - Menashe Yisrael