Halachot and Customs
Attendance at a Bar Mitzvah Seudah During Year of Mourning
Question
Hello, Rabbi,
Is it permitted for a mourner in the first year to go to a bar mitzvah that took place one day after the boy's birthday
Thank you
Answer
Hello,
According to the custom of Sephardim, it is permitted to go to a bar mitzvah in the year of mourning at a time when musical instruments are not being played there.
According to the custom of Ashkenazim, one should not attend this seudah at all, and it is permitted only to be present not during the seudah if musical instruments are not being played.
Sources: Regarding the custom of Sephardim - see Chazon Ovadia, Avelut, part 2 (page 371).
Regarding the custom of Ashkenazim - see Rema, Yoreh Deah (section 391, paragraph 2). However, it is permitted to be there not at the time of the seudah, as written in a similar case in Sefer Gishrei HaChaim, part 1 (chapter 21, section 8, letter heh) and in Sefer Ashrei HaIsh, Yoreh Deah, part 2 (chapter 89, section 27).
Good tidings,
Hillel Meirs
