The Most Important Diet: How Your Words Can Heal Hearts and Rebuild the Temple

The Sages taught us long ago that "Life and death are in the power of the tongue." I have experienced the truth of those words firsthand, more than once. I am a woman of words, yet there are many words I wish I had never spoken.

How many things have I said that I later regretted? How many careless comments did I make without considering how they would affect someone else? How many awkward silences did I fill with gossip or negative speech? I only wish I had understood when I was younger just how much weight our words carry.

But how could I not have known? I had been hurt countless times by the words of others. No matter how many compliments or kind remarks I received, I always focused on the criticism and the hurtful comments. They quietly ate away at me, leaving me feeling that I was never good enough, never worthy enough, simply never enough.

The Second Temple Was Destroyed by Hatred

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." Is that really true?

Sometimes a physical blow hurts far less than a careless word spoken without thought. A wound on the body may heal quickly, but the wounds of the heart often remain.

"Just let it go," people told me.

How can you forget words that leave scars? Words that slowly drip into your soul until they become part of the way you see yourself. How do you move on after hearing hurtful, dismissive, and demeaning words over and over again?

Considering how deeply I had been hurt, you would think I would always be careful with the words I chose. But every one of us has moments of weakness, thoughtlessness, or simply poor judgment. I have had those moments too. Times when I meant well but my words accomplished the opposite. Times when I had to get the last word. Times when I could not quietly absorb an insult. Moments filled with words I wish I could take back.

The Words We Wish We Could Take Back

Have you ever sent a message to a WhatsApp group that you immediately regretted? Have you ever snapped at your husband because you were exhausted or overwhelmed? Have you ever made a comment about someone just after she walked out of the room?

Words may cost nothing, but the damage they can cause is beyond anything money can repair.

The Second Temple was destroyed because of baseless hatred. That hatred was expressed not only through actions, but also through words: gossip, slander, and the astonishing ease with which we can wound another person without giving it a second thought.

If words are power, then we, as women, possess an extraordinary power. We can use it to encourage a child whose heart has been broken, to strengthen a friend, or even to save a struggling marriage. But with a single sentence, we can also destroy worlds that someone spent years trying to build.

So especially during these days, I want to ask you: What kind of home do you want to build each day?

The Most Important Diet

I have been there too. There were times when my finger was too quick to hit "Send." Times when I passed along rumors. Times when I repeated something that I had never verified.

Today, information spreads with unbelievable speed, and so does the potential to hurt someone. It may feel awkward to say something hurtful face to face, but behind a screen it is all too easy to forget that on the other side is another woman, just like you.

This Tisha B'Av season, I invite you to begin a different kind of diet. Not a fast from speaking, but a conscious diet of your words.

Before you speak, before you hit "Send," before you vent your frustration, ask yourself:

• Will these words bring more goodness into the world?

• Would I say this if the person were standing in front of me?

• Will my words create connection or division?

The Healing Power of Words

Rabbi Nachman taught: "If you believe it is possible to destroy, believe it is also possible to repair."

Just as words have the power to destroy, they also have the power to rebuild. If the Temple was destroyed through hatred and harmful speech, then its rebuilding must begin in exactly the same place: with kind words, sincere compliments, and unconditional love put into practice.

Here is a challenge for the coming days.

Look for the Good

Every woman you meet has at least one beautiful quality. It may not be easy to find, but it is there.

Do not look for it in someone you already love. Look for it in the woman who makes you uncomfortable, or the one whose opinions differ from yours.

Can you find something genuinely good in her?

Pause Before You Speak

Whenever you feel the urge to criticize, whether at home, at work, or online, pause and ask yourself:

Why do I feel the need to say this?

Is it motivated by genuine concern, or by judgment, competition, or frustration?

Fill Your Home with Good Words

Words carry tremendous power, even when they are written on a page or displayed on a wall.

Surround yourself with uplifting messages. Keep a journal filled with grateful and hopeful thoughts. Listen to words that strengthen your spirit every day.

Fill your world with goodness, and that goodness will naturally overflow into the lives of others.

These days give us a precious opportunity to transform our words from instruments of destruction into instruments of healing. We have the ability to rebuild both our personal homes and our national home, one word at a time.

The only question is, which words will we choose?