The Love a Child Never Forgets: A Powerful Lesson for Parents

A yeshiva entrance exam usually tests a student’s Torah knowledge. But when one exhausted young man arrived at the famed Grodno Yeshiva after weeks of hardship, Rabbi Shimon Shkop zt”l had two very different questions for him. Years later, the young man would say that those two questions helped him remain Jewish through some of the darkest moments of his life.

An Entrance Exam He Never Expected

The story is told of a young man from a poor family who desperately wanted to be accepted to the Grodno Yeshiva, headed by the renowned Rabbi Shimon Shkop zt”l, one of the leading Torah scholars of his generation in Lithuania.

Because his family had very little money, the young man spent several difficult weeks making his way to the yeshiva. After tremendous effort and sacrifice, he finally arrived.

He went to the home of the rosh yeshiva to be tested for admission.

Rabbi Shkop opened the door, welcomed him warmly, and asked his name and where he had come from. When he heard that the young man wanted to be accepted into the yeshiva, he said, “In that case, I would like to ask you two questions.”

The young man braced himself for the entrance exam.

“First question,” Rabbi Shkop asked. “When was the last time you ate a hot, nourishing meal?”

The young man was caught completely off guard.

After a moment, he answered, “About three weeks ago.”

“I am not an expert cook,” the rabbi told him, “and the rebbetzin is not in town, so you will have to make do with what I know how to prepare.”

And with that, the elderly and revered rosh yeshiva got up and prepared a warm, filling meal for the young man.

The Second Question

When the young man had finished eating, Rabbi Shkop turned to him again.

“Now we will move on to the second question. When was the last time you slept in a bed?”

“I don’t remember,” the astonished young man replied.

Rabbi Shkop immediately went into the inner room, arranged a pillow and blanket, and invited him to sleep.

Exhausted from the hardships of his journey, the young man gladly accepted the opportunity for a peaceful night’s rest.

Only the following morning did he discover whose bed he had slept in.

It was Rabbi Shimon Shkop’s own bed.

After Shacharit at the yeshiva, the rosh yeshiva called the young man over.

“You made a tremendous effort to get here,” he told him. “You passed the test successfully. You have been accepted to the yeshiva.”

The Two Questions That Stayed With Him

Years passed.

The young man eventually endured the horrors of the Holocaust, along with many other painful trials throughout his life.

Yet when he later recounted the story of his arrival at the Grodno Yeshiva, he explained what had given him strength through those difficult years.

“The two questions Rabbi Shimon Shkop asked me during my yeshiva entrance exam,” he said, “those are what kept me Jewish.”

Rabbi Shkop had certainly taught countless pages of Gemara and delivered profound Torah lessons throughout his lifetime. But for this young man, one of his most enduring lessons came without a sefer or a lecture.

It came through a warm meal, a bed, and the experience of being truly cared for.

The Love a Child Never Forgets

There is a powerful lesson here for parents.

Messages of unconditional love that children receive when they are young can remain engraved in their hearts for a lifetime.

We cannot know what challenges our children will eventually face. But when a child grows up knowing deeply that they are loved, valued, and cared for, that knowledge can become an inner source of strength they carry with them wherever life takes them.

Sometimes, the lessons that remain with a person the longest are not the ones we teach with words, but the ones we teach through love.

This article is adapted from Rabbi Zamir Cohen’s book, The Complete Guide to Raising Children.