Not Feeling Joyful This Sukkot? Try These 5 Simple Steps

Sukkot is just a few days away, and along with the shopping, cooking, and sukkah preparations comes another expectation: joy.

After all, Sukkot is known as zman simchateinu, “the season of our joy.”

But while the calendar may tell us that a joyful holiday is approaching, the heart does not always follow the calendar.

What if Sukkot is coming and joy is the last thing you feel? How can we fulfill the commandment, “You shall rejoice on your festival,” when happiness simply is not there?

The Rambam writes that rejoicing in the performance of mitzvot and in the love of Hashem is a form of “great service” (Hilchot Lulav 8:15).

Joy, then, is not necessarily something that appears on its own when everything in life is going well. Sometimes, it is something we can work toward through the choices we make.

In Hilchot Yom Tov (6:17–18), the Rambam gives practical examples of how we celebrate the holiday: wearing nice clothing, enjoying good food, giving children things that make them happy, and making sure that those who are vulnerable or in need are included in the celebration.

Notice what is not on the list: “Feel wonderful immediately.”

The Torah does not tell us to wait until happiness appears on its own. Instead, it gives us things to do that can help create space for it.

Mesillat Yesharim teaches a similar idea in Chapter 7: what we do on the outside can influence what we feel on the inside. When a person begins acting with energy and enthusiasm, even if they do not feel particularly enthusiastic at first, those actions can gradually awaken the feeling within them.

So if Sukkot is approaching and you are not feeling particularly joyful, you do not have to force yourself to suddenly feel differently.

You can simply start with one small action.

Five small ways to make room for joy this Sukkot

1. Invite someone in

Think of someone who might otherwise spend part of the holiday alone. It could be a neighbor, relative, new immigrant, single friend, or someone going through a difficult period.

A warm invitation may change their Sukkot. And it might change yours too.

2. Create something for the kids to enjoy

It does not have to be elaborate. Buy a special treat, plan a game, prepare a food they love, or surprise them with something small.

Children have an extraordinary ability to get excited about things adults barely notice anymore. Sometimes their enthusiasm is contagious.

3. Start on the outside

Put on something you feel good wearing. Set the table beautifully. Add some flowers or hang another decoration in the sukkah.

Even a slightly crooked paper chain hung without much enthusiasm still does the job.

We often wait until we feel festive before doing festive things. Sometimes it helps to reverse the order.

4. Don’t expect yourself to feel only one thing

Joy and sadness can exist in the same heart.

You can appreciate what you have while missing someone who is no longer at the table. You can enjoy a beautiful moment while worrying about something else. You can laugh during the holiday and still acknowledge that life is complicated.

The Torah does not ask us to erase pain or pretend that difficult experiences never happened. Making room for joy does not mean pushing every other emotion aside.

5. Plan something small to look forward to

Choose one moment during Sukkot that you genuinely want to experience.

It might be a morning walk, a meal with people you love, starting a new book, having coffee with a friend, or simply spending a quiet hour in the sukkah.

It does not have to be extraordinary. Sometimes having one small thing to look forward to can change the way we approach the days ahead.

You don’t have to feel it all at once

As Sukkot approaches, there is no need to compare yourself to some imaginary version of what “the season of our joy” is supposed to feel like.

Joy does not have to arrive all at once, and it does not have to fill every corner of your heart.

Start with one thing. Set the table. Call someone. Hang a decoration. Make a child smile. Spend a few quiet minutes in the sukkah.

Sometimes we do not have to wait for joy to arrive before opening the door.

We can open the door and give joy somewhere to enter.