Stressed Before Shabbat? The Powerful Blessing of Welcoming Shabbat Early

This week, I've received so many messages from women feeling overwhelmed by the early arrival of Shabbat. "Rebbetzin, Shabbat starts so early, and I just can't get everything done! What am I supposed to do?" Or, "It's absolute chaos! By the time I light the Shabbat candles, I'm completely exhausted!"

Yes, we all know the pressure that comes with those short winter days. And on Friday, when there's already so much to accomplish, that pressure becomes even more intense. Our sages teach that the Satan dances on Erev Shabbat, trying to stir up anger, arguments, stress, and frustration. He wants you to lose your temper, burst into tears, and feel as though there's simply no way to get everything done. He wants you to arrive at candle lighting completely drained, worn out, and disappointed in yourself and how you've managed your day. He wants you to light the candles without any energy or concentration, feeling discouraged rather than uplifted. That's exactly what he wants.

What can we do about it? Is it really possible to approach candle lighting feeling calm and peaceful, beautifully dressed, ready for Shabbat, and filled with happiness and spiritual focus? My dear sister, it absolutely is possible! Welcoming Shabbat peacefully doesn't need to remain a distant dream, even when candle lighting is at four o'clock in the afternoon.

Start Preparing for Shabbat Earlier in the Week

My first piece of advice is simple: Get the entire week involved in your Shabbat preparations. In the words of the Shabbat hymn, "Chemdat hayamim oto karata"—Shabbat is the most cherished of all days. Every day of the week looks forward to Shabbat, and each one is happy to contribute a little of its time to preparing for this special day.

Don't leave everything for Friday. Take advantage of the entire week! Prepare your matbucha on Saturday night, for example, when there's plenty of time. Do a little something every day. Keep Shabbat at the forefront of your mind throughout the week. Wherever you go and whatever you're doing, remember that you're preparing to welcome the most precious guest of all.

The Greatest Segulah: Adding Extra Time to Shabbat

There's a remarkable spiritual practice known as Tosefet Shabbat—accepting Shabbat a little earlier than its required starting time and extending its observance beyond its conclusion.

I know exactly what you're thinking! But there's a tremendous secret here. The moment you decide to welcome Shabbat earlier, something changes. You begin working more efficiently, moving with greater purpose, and making better use of your time. Let's explore the deeper meaning of Tosefet Shabbat. If you put it into practice and see what happens, you'll be thanking me!

Everyone is searching for segulot—special spiritual practices associated with blessing and salvation—without realizing that one of the greatest segulot is right under our noses. By adding just a few minutes to the beginning and end of Shabbat, we can bring tremendous blessing into our lives.

Welcome Shabbat Like an Honored Guest

Imagine you've been invited to the wedding of a close friend. The tables are beautifully arranged, the salads look irresistible, you've already washed your hands, and a delicious, freshly baked roll is waiting for you. You've just settled into your seat, ready to enjoy your meal and catch up with friends, when suddenly everyone rises to welcome the bride.

What do you do? You've already got a forkful of salad halfway to your mouth, and now you're expected to get up! It's a little frustrating, isn't it? But of course you'll stand up. After all, how could you possibly ignore the bride and continue eating and chatting while everyone else is welcoming her? You'll leave your comfortable seat, abandon those tempting salads and delicious rolls, and hurry over to greet her. You'll do everything you can to make her feel special and bring her joy.

That's exactly how we are expected to welcome Shabbat.

The Shulchan Aruch teaches that a person should eagerly await the arrival of Shabbat, like someone preparing to greet a king or welcome a bride and groom. We don't simply allow Shabbat to arrive while we're busy doing other things. We prepare for it, anticipate it, and eagerly go out to welcome it. When your home is ready ahead of time and you've completed your preparations early, you're showing Hashem just how precious the mitzvah of Shabbat is to you.

The Shabbat That You Create

The Torah tells us: "Veshamru Bnei Yisrael et haShabbat, la'asot et haShabbat"—"The Children of Israel shall observe the Shabbat, to make the Shabbat" (Exodus 31:16).

Notice the unusual wording: to make the Shabbat. What does it mean for us to make Shabbat? Isn't Shabbat something that Hashem Himself created?

The holy Or HaChaim offers a beautiful explanation. There is the Shabbat that Hashem gives us, and there is the Shabbat that we create ourselves. When you add a little time from the ordinary weekday to the holiness of Shabbat, you are creating additional sacred time. And Hashem considers those extra minutes Shabbat!

Every week, you have the opportunity to observe not just the Shabbat that Hashem established, but also the additional Shabbat that you have personally brought into existence. In this way, you are observing two Shabbatot: Hashem's Shabbat and the Shabbat you have created.

Two Shabbatot and the Promise of Redemption

Our sages teach a remarkable principle: "If the Jewish people were to observe two Shabbatot, they would immediately be redeemed" (Shabbat 118b).

The author of Yitav Panim explains that these two Shabbatot can also refer to the Shabbat established by Hashem and the additional Shabbat that a person creates through Tosefet Shabbat. According to this teaching, when you observe both, you open yourself to the blessing of redemption and Divine salvation in every area of life. Just imagine. A few extra minutes of Shabbat, a little more preparation, and a conscious decision to welcome this holy day with joy and anticipation can carry profound spiritual significance.

So as the winter Fridays grow shorter and the pressure begins to mount, remember that you don't need to arrive at candle lighting feeling overwhelmed and defeated. Prepare a little throughout the week, make room for Shabbat before it arrives, and embrace the extraordinary blessing of Tosefet Shabbat.

Because Shabbat isn't just another deadline to meet. It's a precious gift to welcome, a source of holiness and joy, and an opportunity to bring blessing into your home and your life.