How Does Discipline Affect Toddlers? New Study Reveals Surprising Findings

It's the end of a long day. Exhaustion has set in, and a two-year-old is lying on the floor, refusing to take a bath. Frustration is mounting, and the parent faces a familiar dilemma: respond with anger and raised voices, or remain calm and understanding.

Nearly every parent has experienced moments like these. But how do the ways parents respond to challenging behavior affect their children's emotional and behavioral development?

A large international study offers new insights into this question, examining the relationship between common disciplinary practices and emotional and behavioral difficulties in young children. The findings suggest that some widely used approaches may be associated with greater difficulties, while others appear to have little measurable effect.

The study, led by researcher Ella Sahith of Washington State University in collaboration with dozens of international researchers, was published in the journal Child Psychiatry & Human Development. It included 865 toddlers between the ages of 17 and 40 months and their mothers from 14 countries, including the United States, China, Brazil, Finland, Spain, Turkey, and the Netherlands.

Mothers were asked how frequently they used five disciplinary strategies: encouraging children to reflect on their actions, yelling or swearing, physical punishment, withdrawing privileges, and time-outs. They also completed a standardized questionnaire assessing their children's emotional and behavioral difficulties.

Why Some Common Disciplinary Methods May Backfire

The researchers found that frequent yelling and harsh verbal discipline were associated with higher levels of emotional and behavioral difficulties in toddlers, including anxiety-related symptoms and aggressive behavior. Physical punishment was also linked to increased difficulties, particularly those involving emotional well-being.

One of the more unexpected findings concerned the withdrawal of privileges, a disciplinary strategy often presented as a gentler alternative to harsher punishment. Although the association was relatively modest, children whose parents used this approach more frequently also tended to exhibit greater behavioral difficulties.

By contrast, time-outs and encouraging children to reflect on their behavior were not significantly associated with increased emotional or behavioral problems. However, the study also found no evidence that these methods were associated with fewer difficulties.

The researchers proposed several possible explanations for the findings surrounding the withdrawal of privileges. Parents may be more inclined to impose consequences when their children are already displaying challenging behavior. In other cases, privileges may be withdrawn impulsively, in response to frustration rather than as part of a thoughtful disciplinary approach.

Developmental factors may also play a role. Toddlers are still learning to regulate their emotions and connect their actions with consequences. A punishment that seems logical to an adult may therefore be confusing or ineffective for a very young child.

Because the findings are based on associations drawn from mothers' reports, it remains unclear whether certain disciplinary methods contribute to children's difficulties or whether children with more challenging behavior are more likely to elicit those responses.

What the Findings Mean for Parents

Although the research does not identify a single ideal approach to discipline, it offers several practical considerations for parents navigating the challenges of raising toddlers.

When frustration begins to build, taking a brief moment to regain composure can help prevent an impulsive reaction. For young children, simple explanations and clear, age-appropriate expectations are generally more useful than punishments they may struggle to understand.

A toddler refusing to take a bath, for example, may benefit from calm guidance and a simple explanation of what needs to happen next. If a parent chooses to impose a consequence, it should be appropriate for the child's developmental stage, closely connected to the behavior, and delivered without anger.

Ultimately, the findings underscore an important principle: discipline is most constructive when it focuses on teaching rather than simply punishing. Helping children understand boundaries and gradually develop emotional regulation may offer a more effective foundation for managing challenging behavior than reacting out of frustration.