She Left a Difficult Home: But Never Stopped Honoring Her Parents

I teach at a boarding school for girls who did not have the privilege of growing up in stable homes. They come here to rebuild themselves, knowing they cannot do so at home.

And yet, I often feel that I am the one learning from them.

Sometimes, when the girls gather around me, eager for guidance and hoping to build lives of Torah and truth, I look at them and feel like a dwarf standing beside giants. Their courage, resilience, and unwavering faith continually teach me mussar. I ask the Master of the Universe to make me worthy of them and of the mission He has given me.

She Never Stopped Honoring Them

One of those girls is Odelia.

She arrived at our boarding school with a huge smile. The Creator had blessed her with a special grace, and she fit in naturally with the other girls. If I had not known her story, I would never have imagined what she was dealing with at home.

Her father was addicted to his work, emotionally distant from his family and largely absent as a parent. Her mother appeared intelligent, sharp, and capable, but those who came closer could see the suffering within the family. She struggled emotionally, and the children absorbed the consequences.

Eventually, one of Odelia’s teachers helped her understand that although she could not change her home, she could protect her own future. Odelia also wanted to grow stronger in Torah and mitzvot, which ultimately brought her to our boarding school.

Two younger siblings remained at home, and Odelia continued looking after them from afar as much as she could.

But of all her remarkable qualities, one stood out above the rest: the way she honored her parents.

Despite the humiliation and suffering she had experienced, Odelia remained careful about the boundaries of halacha. She treated her parents with dignity and listened respectfully even when faced with criticism and contempt. Within herself, she somehow maintained a distinction between their behavior and their status as her parents. She continued to view them with the honor due to a king and queen.

Sometimes, listening to her phone calls, I would be bursting inside. I wanted her to hang up. I wanted her to defend herself. I could barely tolerate hearing the injustice.

But Odelia regularly consulted a posek to understand exactly where her obligations began and ended. Her inner strength was difficult to comprehend.

“Hashem Will Give Me What I Need”

When Odelia reached shidduchim age, her parents made something very clear: they would not help her financially.

This was not because they lacked money. Her mother earned well, and her father had profitable investments. From the outside, they appeared to be a wealthy family, with luxury cars, expensive activities, and a lavish penthouse.

But because Odelia had chosen to leave home and pursue a different path, they told her she would also have to take responsibility for the next stage of her life.

We were worried. It is difficult enough to marry with very little, especially when there are expectations surrounding a wedding and establishing a new home. But Odelia was not frightened. She genuinely believed that the Creator would provide what she needed.

At our boarding school, our relationship with the girls does not end when they graduate. Every girl is a world unto herself, and we continue accompanying them through jobs, shidduchim, marriage, and beyond.

Even while they are studying, we often help them find part-time work. Beyond providing much-needed income, working in healthy homes can give the girls an opportunity to see firsthand what a functional family looks like. Many form close relationships with the families they work for and eventually become almost part of the family themselves.

That is exactly what happened to Odelia.

A friend of one of our teachers, a woman who had made aliyah from the United States and regularly helped the boarding school girls, approached us with an unusual opportunity. A wealthy American family needed someone to work in their home whenever they visited Israel and help maintain the property while they were abroad.

And this was no ordinary home. It was a magnificent house in the alleyways of Jerusalem’s Old City, overlooking the Temple Mount. The salary was excellent, and the working conditions were exceptional.

Odelia immediately came to mind. She had the social skills the position required and was familiar with the manners and expectations of an affluent household. Because the family visited only several times a year, each period of work could cover Odelia’s expenses for quite some time.

She accepted the job and quickly became a valued member of the household staff.

An Unexpected Phone Call

Meanwhile, Odelia continued dating and carefully saving money for her future.

Eventually, thank G-d, she met the man she wanted to marry.

Her parents, however, initially refused to change their position. We did not even know whether they would attend the wedding.

Odelia continued speaking to them and asking them to be part of her happiness. Meanwhile, the boarding school staff began helping her plan an engagement celebration, gifts, and everything else she would need. Our financial assistance could cover only a small portion of the expenses.

We decided that the engagement celebration could take place in the boarding school dining room. It would not be fancy, but it was affordable, and Odelia was perfectly happy with the idea.

Then her phone rang.

It was the mother of the American family she worked for, calling from overseas to wish her mazel tov. During their conversation, Odelia casually mentioned that she was sitting with the house mother and planning her engagement celebration.

“You will have the engagement party at our house,” the woman told her.

The family was abroad, but she offered Odelia the use of their enormous home.

“I’ll update the staff. You don’t have to do anything. Just come.”

Odelia was stunned.

Five minutes later, her phone rang again. This time it was the head of the household staff, asking what flowers she wanted for the engagement party.

The family had left him a blank check to cover the celebration at the highest standard. Even the staff member himself was amazed, saying that the family’s own daughters had not been given such freedom without oversight or a clear spending limit.

The Mitzvah That Entered Her Heart

The engagement celebration was everything Odelia deserved. Despite the magnificent surroundings, the splendor never overshadowed the simple happiness she had hoped for.

After considerable persuasion from Odelia and our staff, her parents came.

They were stunned by what they saw.

But what moved us most was watching Odelia interact with them. She treated them with warmth, love, and extraordinary respect, as though none of the painful history between them existed.

By the time of the wedding, something had changed. Her parents came willingly, without anyone needing to persuade them, and even brought a beautiful gift.

Odelia was not alone for a moment. The American family embraced her wholeheartedly, accompanied her to the wedding, and helped provide everything she needed.

Later, the teacher who had originally connected Odelia with the family revealed something remarkable.

“Do you know how this happened?” she asked me.

The American mother had overheard Odelia speaking to her parents on the phone several times while working in their home. She did not know the details of Odelia’s family situation and did not understand everything she heard.

But she understood one thing very clearly: the extraordinary respect with which Odelia spoke to her parents.

She was so moved by the way this young woman honored them that Odelia entered her heart—and never left it.