When You Feel Like You’re Not Enough: Rabbi Nachman’s Powerful Advice

Just before going to sleep, when the house finally grows quiet, that whispering voice appears: “You weren’t patient enough today,” or “You should have tried harder.”

That critical voice knows exactly how to ignore everything we did right and make us feel small and inadequate. But one teaching from Rabbi Nachman of Breslov offers a powerful way to quiet that background noise and loosen guilt’s grip.

Guilt draws much of its power from an endless focus on what is missing. We measure ourselves against an imaginary ideal of “the perfect mother” or “the brilliant career woman,” and when we inevitably fall short of that impossible standard, guilt rushes in.

But this inner voice does not necessarily help us move forward. On the contrary, it can paralyze us, drain our strength, and prevent us from seeing the effort, goodness, and love we give to those around us every day.

The Teaching That Can Change Everything: The “Good Points” Approach

If we are looking for one focused teaching that can help quiet guilt, we find it in the guidance of Rabbi Nachman of Breslov:

“A person must search and seek to find some small measure of good within themselves, in order to revive themselves” (Likutei Moharan, Part I, Teaching 282).

As an introduction to this idea, Rabbi Nachman explains:

“A person must also find good within themselves. Even when they begin to look at themselves and see no good at all, and they are full of sins, and the evil inclination wants to cast them into sadness and depression through this, Heaven forbid, even so, they must not fall because of it. Rather, they must search and find some small measure of good within themselves, for how is it possible that they have never performed any mitzvah or good deed?”

According to this approach, instead of focusing only on the darkness, our guilt and failures, we can choose to turn on the light.

When we filter out the background noise and look for even one good point within ourselves, one act of kindness, one moment of listening, a small smile we gave a child, or even our sincere desire to become better, our perspective begins to change. Focusing on the good strengthens us and helps our shortcomings loosen their grip.

How Can You Find the Good Within Yourself?

This approach can be powerful, but how do we bring it into the middle of a demanding daily routine?

Keep a good-points journal: At the end of each day, instead of replaying everything you didn’t accomplish or every mistake you made, write down at least three “good points” from your day.

Separate the voices: Learn to distinguish between the negative inner voice and constructive criticism. Constructive criticism can help you recognize what needs to change and move forward. A voice that only weakens, shames, and discourages you does not help you grow.

Speak to yourself with compassion: Treat yourself with the same gentleness, patience, and understanding you would offer a close friend who shared her struggles and burdens with you.

Let go of perfection: Judaism does not demand human perfection. What matters is sincere effort and continued growth. Accepting that you are human does not mean giving up on becoming better. It means recognizing that growth can happen even when you make mistakes.

The demand for perfection will always leave us feeling lacking. Seeing the good we are already doing gives us the strength to continue.

Instead of beating yourself up over what you didn’t accomplish today, give yourself credit for what you did.

The next time guilt rises, pause and look for one good point within yourself. Sometimes a little light is enough to push away a great deal of darkness.

What is the first good point you can find within yourself right now?

Dear mother, are you changing your baby’s diaper? Taking your child to the park? You may not realize how many mitzvot you are fulfilling in the ordinary moments of motherhood. Rabbi Zamir Cohen shares a short and powerful message about the tremendous privilege of being a mother.