How Grandparents Can Build a Strong Bond With Their Grandchildren

A warm, meaningful relationship between grandparents and grandchildren is no longer something that can be taken for granted. Clinical psychologist Dr. Matthew Lee explains that in today’s world, the presence of trusted adults beyond a child’s immediate family can play an especially important role in healthy development. Grandparents can offer experiences that are different from those provided by parents, from sharing family stories and traditions to creating treasured memories and simply spending enjoyable time together.

Licensed psychologist Dr. Shannon Franklin adds that this relationship can provide children with a steady source of love and support, while providing grandparents with a powerful sense of connection, belonging, and purpose in their relationship with the younger generation.

Respect the Parents’ Boundaries

How can grandparents build and strengthen this bond? Family psychologists offer several practical guidelines, beginning with one of the most important: respect the parents’ boundaries.

Dr. Deborah Vinall explains that children feel most secure when there is little tension or conflict among the adults in their lives. This means respecting the rules parents have established, whether they are related to food, screen time, bedtime, or other aspects of family life. Honoring those boundaries helps build trust not only with the parents, but ultimately with the grandchildren as well.

Ask Questions That Invite Conversation

Another valuable strategy is to ask open-ended questions. Instead of routinely asking general questions about school, grandparents can try more engaging prompts such as, “What made you laugh today?”

Questions like these give children room to express themselves naturally, without making the conversation feel like an interrogation. Experts also recommend entering the grandchild’s world by showing genuine curiosity about the hobbies, interests, and subjects that matter to them.

Listen Without Trying to Fix Everything

Dr. Franklin emphasizes the value of active listening without immediately trying to solve a problem or “fix” the situation.

Children do not always share with an adult because they want advice. Sometimes they simply need someone to listen, comfort them, or acknowledge what they are feeling. A grandparent who can provide that kind of calm, attentive presence can create an atmosphere in which a child feels safe opening up.

Psychologists also emphasize the importance of showing children that they matter. This can be expressed through small gestures, such as displaying their artwork on the refrigerator, as well as through larger commitments, such as attending school events, performances, or games. What matters is communicating: I see you, and what matters to you matters to me.

Share the Family Story

Expert Dr. Amy Vigliotti, interviewed by Parade, explains that grandparents are uniquely positioned to fill the role of serving as keepers of the family’s history.

By sharing stories from the past, grandparents can connect children to the people and experiences that came before them. These stories can give grandchildren a stronger understanding of their roots and a sense of belonging to something larger than themselves.

At the same time, experts stress that the relationship must evolve as grandchildren grow older. The way a grandparent connects with a six-year-old will not necessarily work with a teenager. Respecting a young person’s growing independence, changing interests, and need for space is an important part of maintaining closeness over time.

Stay Connected Even From a Distance

Geographic distance does not have to prevent grandparents and grandchildren from developing a close relationship. Dr. Lee recommends maintaining consistent contact through regular video calls, asking about the small details of the child’s daily life, and finding activities that can be shared even from afar.

Grandparents and grandchildren might read the same book, for example, and talk about it together. The activity itself does not need to be elaborate. What matters most is consistency and genuine interest.

Ultimately, strong grandparent-grandchild relationships are built through repeated moments of connection. Respecting parents, listening carefully, taking an interest in a child’s world, sharing family history, and remaining present as the child grows can turn those moments into a bond that enriches both generations.