Yom Kippur
The 3 Steps of Teshuvah: Regret, Confession, and Commitment to Change
A practical guide to the process of repentance in Judaism, including how to confess sins, what to do about sins you do not remember, and how Torah study can bring atonement
- Hidabroot
- | Updated
Two daily halachot from In Halachah and Aggadah, based on the rulings of Maran Rabbi Ovadia Yosef, of blessed memory.
The Three Main Stages of Teshuvah
Regret — Thought
The sinner must leave the sin behind and remove it completely from his thoughts.
Confession — Speech
A person must verbally confess his actions. How does one confess? He says: “Please, Hashem, I have sinned, I have acted wrongly, and I have transgressed before You. I did such and such. I now regret what I have done and am ashamed of my actions, and I will never return to this behavior again.”
This is the essence of confession. The more a person confesses and elaborates sincerely on the matter, the more praiseworthy it is.
However, someone who confesses verbally but has not truly resolved in his heart to abandon the sin is compared to a person who immerses in a mikveh while still holding an impure creature in his hand. The immersion cannot help him until he lets go of it.
Commitment for the Future — Action
A person must firmly resolve in his heart not to repeat the sin and feel complete regret for what he has done, to the point that the Creator Himself can testify that he will not return to that sin again.
Which Sins Must Be Confessed, and What About Sins We Do Not Remember?
Confession is a Torah commandment and an essential part of teshuvah. The general confession recited during prayer is not sufficient on its own. In addition, a person should confess his specific sins.
The Zohar teaches: “Do not think that the Holy One, blessed be He, will not accept a person unless he specifies every sin he has committed from the day he entered the world. In truth, he need only mention the sins he remembers, and all the other sins are included with them.”
Although the primary element of teshuvah is abandoning the sin, it is appropriate for a person who has repented to take on a positive commitment as part of attaining atonement.
It is also important to know that Torah study brings atonement for sin, and even serious transgressions can be atoned for through sincere Torah learning.
