The Three Weeks and the Power of Mourner’s Kaddish

Two halachot a day from Hidabroot, from BaHalacha U’VeAggadah, based on the rulings of Rabbi Ovadia Yosef.

Why Do We Observe Mourning Customs During the Three Weeks?

Regarding the verse in Lamentations (1:3), “All her pursuers overtook her in the narrow straits,” our Sages taught that this refers to the days between the Seventeenth of Tammuz and Tisha B’Av. During this period, the enemies entered Jerusalem, the holy city, and brought terrible suffering upon the Jewish people, culminating on the Ninth of Av with the burning of the Holy Temple.

For this reason, the Jewish people observe various customs of mourning and sorrow during these days.

Is It Permitted to Hold a Wedding During the Three Weeks?

The Ashkenazi custom is not to marry during the Three Weeks. According to Sephardic custom, however, weddings may be held until the end of the month of Tammuz, and there is no need to refrain from doing so. When there is a particular need, there is room for leniency even for Ashkenazim.

Nevertheless, from Rosh Chodesh Av until Tisha B’Av, Sephardim also refrain from holding weddings. These days are not considered an auspicious time for marriage, as our Sages teach, “When the month of Av begins, we decrease our joy.”

Daily Mitzvah: Mourner’s Kaddish

1. The holy books teach that reciting Kaddish provides tremendous benefit to the soul of the deceased and helps elevate it in the spiritual worlds.

2. Masechet Kallah teaches: “When the son says, ‘Yitgadal v’yitkadash,’ the deceased is released from punishment.”

3. The soul is eternal. Even after it leaves the body, its existence continues as it ascends from one spiritual level to another in the higher worlds, in accordance with the person’s deeds during life. Even after someone passes away, we can contribute to the elevation of the soul by performing mitzvot and studying Torah in the deceased’s merit, particularly through reciting Mourner’s Kaddish and studying Mishnah in their memory.

4. Mourner’s Kaddish is recited at the funeral, when visiting the grave, and during prayers throughout the mourning period. Jewish custom is to recite Kaddish and study Mishnah for the deceased throughout the daily prayers for 11 months following the passing, as well as each year on the anniversary of the death, the yahrzeit.

5. The Arizal explains in Shaar HaKavanot that every time Kaddish is recited, the deceased is elevated from one spiritual level to another: “The purpose of reciting Kaddish is not merely to save the soul of the deceased from the judgment of Gehinnom, as many people believe. It has an additional, tremendous benefit: to bring the soul into Gan Eden and elevate it from one level to another. Therefore, it should also be recited on Shabbat and Yom Tov.”

6. Rabbeinu Bachya explains the verse, “Atone for Your people Israel,” by citing the Pesikta: “‘Your people Israel’ refers to the living, who achieve atonement through their money, through the charity they themselves give. ‘Whom You have redeemed’ refers to the deceased, who achieve atonement through the money of the living, through charity given in their merit.”
   From this, he explains, we learn that donations made by the living on behalf of the deceased benefit their souls. This is especially true when a child makes a donation in the merit of a parent, which brings merit to the parent.

7. The book Zachor L’Avraham cites Vayakhel Moshe, which relates a remarkable account concerning a departed soul. It states that there is nothing more effective in protecting the deceased from harmful spiritual forces than reciting Kaddish following chapters of Psalms. Children are therefore encouraged to recite Psalms during the year following a parent’s passing and then say Kaddish.
   It concludes: “There is no greater honor for a deceased father or mother than the recitation of Kaddish.”

8. Rabbi Gamliel Rabinowitz writes at length about the tremendous merit brought to deceased parents when their children recite Kaddish for them.
   “Today, in our generation, people search for many segulot. Why give up such a powerful segulah, one whose source is found in the teachings of our holy Sages?”
   Rabbi Rabinowitz adds that the extraordinary power of answering “Amen” and “Amen, yehei Shmei rabba” is well known. Through these responses, severe decrees can be averted and an abundance of blessing and success can be brought into the world.